Friday, November 20, 1942 Just after daylight hell really broke loose around us. During the night were surrounded and we were completely ambushed. It was then that we went into one of the most difficult retreats imaginable. Caution was thrown to the winds and everybody fled, leaving their weapons and ammunition behind. There were dozens of casualties and many of our boys were killed.

My grandfather, Nathan Rice, wrote this in his diary 61 years ago while serving as a medic in World War II. When he was alive, I never thought to ask him what it was like to serve in a war or what it was like to return home to a country he missed for years.

As we come to almost two weeks of bombing Iraq, I wondered if I could ever understand what war really means to those who live it. So, I did the thing most of us do: turned to the news.

After watching George Bush's deadline expire, I became overwhelmed with the coverage of this war. With so many reporters embedded in troops moving across the desert of Iraq, we can turn on the TV and find minute-to-minute accounts of everything from the sand storms to the air raids to the type of food soldiers are eating. News is instant and we can't miss a beat.

In a time of war it is important that we are informed. It is, after all, our flag that goes up when the coalition forces claim another key Iraqi city or port. As a democracy we, as citizens, have the right to know what is being done in our name.

Yet, does my ability to watch 24/7 coverage of the war translate into my ability to understand war? As I watched CNN at 3 a.m. and shaky camera footage revealed a fight between the U.S. Marines and members of Iraqi resistance, I couldn't help but feel as if I were witnessing something I could never understand.

I then looked at something personal: the diaries and letters my grandfather wrote during WWII. Although the pages are yellowed and the words are faded, there is a sense of timelessness that lies behind his daily recounting of the weather, the food and the battles. But, unlike the reporters who update the United States daily, my grandfather's experiences were personal.

I saw what my grandfather's life was like in the South Pacific. Yet, as much as I read, there is only so much I can know.

I can't know what it's like to find the bodies of my fellow soldiers dead from enemy fire. I can't know what it's like to be so far from home, risking my life so that my fellow citizens can live their lives in freedom. I can't know, fortunately, because I have never had to experience it myself.

For the families who have loved ones fighting in Iraq, this war is real and personal. It's not something they watch on TV but is a time when they hope for the swift and safe return of their family members.

For the rest of U.S. citizens, life goes on as normal or, at least, as normal as it can be when pictures of war and breaking news flash across our televisions constantly.

I fear there is a sense that we can watch the news, know every moment of the war and, as a result, comprehend it. The news stations seem to be saying: "Hey, look at what we can do. We can put you in a tank rattling across the dessert of Iraq and now you are informed."

This news coverage creates a surreal overtone to the conflict, because we are supposed to be appreciating the ability of technology to take us right to the scene while we sit in our homes, comfortable and lucky that we are not the nation witnessing the war in person.

I say let us be informed, but please don't let us ever think that we can understand war. We can't unless we've lived it.

As Americans, we should be grateful to live in a country where war does not affect the majority of us on a day-to-day level. We can watch news coverage on TV, then go out with our friends. The war in Iraq carries on and life as we know it in America does too.

My grandfather was a man who appreciated life and always seemed to know that he was a lucky man. On March 4, 1943, he signed one of his letters: With all the love in the world (you have no idea how large it can seem) I remain.

He was right. In a world as large as ours, war can seem very far away. Unfortunately, in a world as large as ours, war is real and not something you just turn on and off your TV.