On a raucous Saturday night not so long ago, a friend of mine from back home went to a house party. The night was going well for him: The house was packed, the beer was cold, and he had just met a girl who seemed like she was up for a good time. This good time involved the poor-kid-who-threw-the-party's parents' bedroom, and not before long, my friend was in the middle of what he thought would go down as one of the best nights of his life.

Unfortunately for him, the fun hadn't started yet. In the midst of the action, the two somehow managed to knock down a nearby phone and press the 911 speed dial button. Within 10 minutes, the police were at the house of mostly underagers, demanding to know who was "prank calling" the emergency number. Both parties, the one downstairs and the one in the parents' bedroom, were abruptly cut short.

What you have just read is an example of a party foul -- an embarrassing faux pas that usually takes place at events where alcohol is present. This particular one did not occur in State College, but that in no way means that Happy Valley is immune from these types of situations. If you're one of the many Penn State students who spend their weekend (and some weeknights) on the town, you know what I'm talking about: the drunk girl falling down a flight of stairs, the wasted freshman knocking down the stereo, the inexperienced pot user blowing out bong water (or worse yet, the pot).

While these mistakes are in most cases embarrassing only to the offender (who will surely become the subject of some funny Sunday morning stories), some can be serious buzzkills that can severely dampen the mood of the entire party. It is no surprise, then, that most of us try to avoid committing these egregious errors (so that our friends can embarrass themselves instead). But as the keg gets emptier and emptier, this task can sometimes prove difficult. What, then, is one supposed to do?

The simple answer to this question is "don't drink so much, stupid!" But lets face it: We're college students, and, for many of us, that's not going to happen. So here are some other ways to stay mostly party-foul free.

Okay, you have just done your fifth keg stand of the night, and now you have to puke. What do you do? First and foremost, make sure you are away from as many people as possible. Throwing up on the hot girl you've been trying to mack it to all night will help her remember you, but not in the way you've been hoping. Try to find a toilet or garbage to deter nasty carpet stains, but if you do puke all over the floor, help clean up. Leaving a disgusting mess behind will only make people hate you.

Spilling beer on someone is not going to make him or her your best friend. Therefore, while holding your cup by the top, if you do spill on someone, apologize profusely and find a paper towel as fast as possible.

When drunk and near stairs, remember: the banister is your best friend.

And last but not least: If you're ever getting your groove on near a phone, just hope that it doesn't have speed dial.