"Dude, that is so gay." All right, I've probably received your full (yet, half-asleep) attention as you flip through the Collegian, slumped in the ridiculously uncomfortable plastic chairs in the Forum. Since I have your eyes for five whole minutes, either because you know my first sentence was inappropriate or because you occasionally hear or say it, I want to reflect on how we open our mouths.
Imagine me, progressive daughter of East Coast liberals in a small New England suburb 12 miles north of Boston, at a ritzy summer theatre "training center" for child actors. (Natalie Portman did grace the same dining hall as me. But, OK, that's about as close to Hollywood as I'll ever get.) Anyway, picture a weekend trip to "The Medieval Times," this strange dinner theatre where upper west side New Yorkers are forced to eat with their hands.
I, a geeky 8th grader with braces, turn to a friend and say, "Is this going to be gay?" In the six years since asking that question, I have yet to forget Jack's response: "No, Katie. This is not going to be gay because it is nothing like me."
His response was dramatic (you have to remember it was at a theatre camp), but I ceased to use the word "gay" as a negative adjective since. In fact, I returned home and encouraged my friends to think before the "worst insult a guy can get" was hurled around the halls of my middle school.
Apparently, not a lot has changed. In the days since I've been back in State College, I've heard the word gay used at least seven times. (Twice on Beaver Avenue and more than five in my sociology class.) You would think that in a highly intelligent academic community such as Penn State one would hear many more responses similar to Jack's, but I rarely do. To be frank, it makes me sad.
However, more than sadness is at stake. When we use "gay" as everyday vernacular with positively negative connotations and completely wrong definitions, we threaten the very state of equality. One would never use "heterosexual" as a term for negative descriptions or insults. So why then, do the majority of young Americans, brought up in the 20th and 21st centuries, fail to remove this word from their vocabulary? (And, if you want to say you really mean "Dude, that is so high-spirited or merry or bright," I suggest you watch Nick at Night for reruns of Leave it to Beaver. You might notice "dude" is suspiciously missing from the dialogue.)
I fear that once the word "gay" is labeled as an insult for a lack of masculinity as early as middle school, it becomes so easily equated with negativity that it will perpetuate to future generations. Fortunately, as students at a school overflowing with diverse backgrounds, we have the ability to change our words and, thus, change our future.
What I'm asking is simple and will take some awareness of what you say when you say it. It's true that the majority of those who use "gay" incorrectly do not even realize they have said it. By slowing down your reactions and actually becoming a better listener, you will be able to stop yourself before you use "gay" as a negative adjective. I am only asking that you try.
You might be amazed at how easily you can erase the term from your vocabulary. And, even better than sounding more mature, you can have the knowledge that you have taken a pretty easy step towards an approach to acceptance and honesty that will stay with you as long as Jack's lesson did for me.
