When I was younger, I loathed cigarettes. When I was about 8 years old, I caught my older sister smoking a cigarette and I ratted her out.
When my parents weren't looking, I'd take their cigarettes and throw them away.
Something changed all that though. But not when the typical smoker begins, in the early teens -- it happened to me when I came to college.
For some odd reason, I picked the habit up. It all started when I went out partying my freshman year. I was one of those people who said, "Oh, I only smoke when I drink."
One morning though, it happened.
I woke up, saw the pack sitting on the kitchen table, and inhaled what would be the beginning of a "real" smoker's life.
This became my ritual in May of 2001. I was officially a smoker -- a pack-a-day smoker, no less. So up until about two weeks ago, I was a smoker.
The scary part is how easy it was to start and how terribly, terribly hard it is to quit. My roommate decided she was going to quit, so I followed suit. I did not necessarily want to quit.
Actually, I fought with myself mentally about the positives of quitting and why continuing being a smoker is a terrible thing. This was the problem. I know smoking is terrible for my health.
I know it stinks and is unprofessional-looking, but I really enjoyed smoking. I liked the break it gave me at work (at the paper and the bar). I liked the social aspect of smoking, the things smokers have in common with each other -- like how crazy and dedicated (addicted) they are to smoke in 10-degree weather.
So I guess maybe you're wondering why I even quit in the first place.
When I'm stressed out or hungry or in a car, or doing anything in my life, it reminds me of smoking and makes me want it back again.
I watched my older sister, a smoker for 12 years, quit last fall. She called me to keep me updated and told me of the problems she encountered -- the mood swings, the cravings, the chew-on-anything-you-can-find side effect.
But because I had only been smoking for about two years, I just figured: "How hard could it be?" Well let me tell you. QUIT NOW. Don't say you'll quit after you graduate. Don't say you'll quit when you get pregnant. Don't say you'll quit next year. Quit now.
It's extremely hard. I bite my nails off. I chew on straws, toothpicks and I don't even want to talk about the increase in eating. However, it's not all negative. When I wake up in the morning, I am not coughing up my lungs.
I don't smell like my usual scent, the lovely "ashtray." I'm saving $35 a week. I also won't have to buy Crest Whitestrips anymore.
I look at how I feel overall and I just feel better. I don't get winded walking to class. I'm actually beginning to exercise again. I quit "cold turkey." I decided that I wasn't going to put any more money into this dirty habit than I already have, but at least there are options out there for those of you who want to quit. One of the hardest things about dropping the addiction is seeing other people smoke. While I've started to hate the way cigarettes smell again, watching someone else light up is really hard.
Here are a few things I have done to make the process easier:
I've changed my habits altogether. When I go to the store, I pick a line where there are no cigarettes visible or to buy. When I wake up in the morning, instead of my usual Camel Light and coffee, I eat an orange and drink a cup of tea. By peeling the orange, my hands are busy with something other than the action of smoking. Are there places where you would always smoke? Avoid those places. Chew gum, straws, pen caps.
And take it one day at a time. Say to yourself every morning, "I'm not going to smoke today." The next day, do the same. Eventually, you won't have to tell yourself anything because it won't even cross your mind.
It is possible to quit. And you'll be amazed at how much better you feel when it's out of your life.
