One of the perks (or irritations) of being a sports editor is that you receive a lot of mail. Sometimes you get mail addressed to "Coach Paterno" suggesting new offensive schemes, or receive a response to a column that asserts that you have less good sense than the squirrels running around Old Main.

This being the most wonderful time of the year, a lot of letters to old Saint Nick have arrived at this desk. Some of the authors have been naughty, some nice, and some are now in straitjackets after trying to bend their minds around the logic of the BCS.

Rather than blow a night's worth of drinking money on postage to the North Pole, I've decided to compile a list of the best Christmas wishes here. Enjoy.

DEAR SANTA, PLEASE SEND ME ...

Twenty pairs of glass slippers for my team, preferably ones with metal cleats

- Barry G., State College

A clue

- the BCS Committee

Someone who can shoot the 3

- Jerry D., State College

To a bowl. Any sort of bowl!!!

- Kirk F., Iowa City

Pucks ... into the net

- Ken H., Philadelphia

A baseball bat, two dozen eggs, and Warren Sapp's address

- Chad C., Green Bay

Oh. He has to be able to make the 3, too

- Jerry D. again

I'm good, Santa. With $87 million, I can buy whatever I want for Christmas

- Jim T., Philadelphia

A little bronze statue, about two feet high. It'll look good in my living room.

- Larry J., State College

It'd be nice to have someone that could rebound, and play a little D ...

- (Jerry had a pretty long list)

Snacks and beverages for all my fans watching my high school basketball games on Pay-Per-View

- LeBron J., Akron, Ohio

Some wood to light a fire under my team's ...

- Russ R., State College

The same luck trading Derrick Coleman as we had trading Dikembe Mutumbo

- Larry B., Philadelphia

A quarterback.

Bill C., Pittsburgh, Mike M., St. Louis, Andy R., Philadelphia

John Madden

- Pat S., Richardson, Texas

A new team.

- Shaquille O., Los Angeles

A massage therapist specially assigned to Sean Landeta's calf.

- Andy R., Philadelphia

Six hundred more wins

- Rene P., State College

A big wooden treehouse with a sign that says "No Girls Allowed"

- Hootie J., Augusta, Ga.

Can I just have a new team, too?

(Oh, Jerry)

Whew. Looks like the jolly fat man has his work cut out for him this year.