I may not be able to shoot webs from my wrists, disappear in a poof of smoke or fly without wings or, at least, a commercial jetliner.

But after reading The Action Hero's Handbook, I'm on my way to becoming a sort of humanoid superhero.

The Action Hero's Handbook is the occasionally practical, always entertaining how-to manual by one of the authors of bestseller The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook.

David Borgenicht is back, this time with his brother extraordinaire, Joe, serving as co-author. And this time Borgenicht and Borgenicht (doesn't that just roll off your tongue like honey on a hot day?) are through telling us how to build a fire without matches and how to survive a bullfight.

This time, B&B are getting down and dirty.

Ever wondered how to catch a great white shark? How to spyproof a hotel room? How to climb down Mount Rushmore? How to save someone who's hanging from a cliff?

Yeah. Me either.

But hasn't this sparked your interest?

The Action Hero's Handbook is not fluff. These guys did their research. They interviewed doctors, shark hunters, former prisoners, bus drivers, boxing coaches, escape artists and a multitude of other experts to provide the best, most succinct tips for a variety of scenarios.

Chapters include "Good Guy Skills," "Paranormal Skills," "Fighting Skills," "Escape Skills" and, my favorite, "Love Skills," which gives step-by-step directions on How to Dirty Dance, How to Stop a Wedding and How to Make and Use a Love Potion.

While "Love Skills" may be most intriguing, "Good Guy Skills" are definitely the handiest. You never know when you're going to have to take fingerprints, track a fugitive or negotiate a hostage crisis.

You also never know when you're going to have to provide a friend with the perfect pick-me-up-gift. Nothing says "I love you" like The Action Hero's Handbook.

With the help of Borgenicht and Borgenicht, you'll be able to screech "Hi-ya!" louder than Charlie's Angels, bed more women than James Bond and garner more respect than Jean-Claude Van Damme.

You, my friends, have a lot to live up to. The future rests in your hands. We're counting on you.

Grade: A