When I became a columnist for the Collegian, I had a mission to write more about political events. My goal was to bring forth different viewpoints about government and society. However, I like for my writing to be driven by some kind of passion. At this moment -- love. I know this seems so trite. It's kind of like that cheesy line: "Love conquers all." Nonetheless, I don't care how independent and/or masculine any of you claim to be, because everyone wants and needs to love and to be loved in return. Although there are many loving relationships, I am talking about significant others. The next question to answer now is who am I to talk about love?
Really, I can't claim that I am anyone special. I am young and trying to obtain my degree like most of you. And I've done some stupid things and have made silly mistakes in the past. Some of my major mistakes have been drinking too much, possibly choosing the wrong university, and more importantly saying I loved someone without meaning it. Since then, I have learned so much about what it means to love and to be in a healthy relationship. And I see many people making the same mistakes that I did. I'm not going to go on and on about how my relationship is perfect, because it's not. I want to share what I have learned so that some of you will not make the same mistakes as me.
To me, there is no set equation, so I'll just begin with the first thing that comes to mind. First, just because a person makes you feel or think differently than before does not necessarily constitute love. It constitutes a difference that could possibly be what is love. Moreover, I think it's rare to know that you definitely love someone right away. I believe you can have strong feelings that the person is special and unique, but saying you love someone before you know the good and the bad is setting yourself up for a high risk of failure.
Another thing that is not exclusively love is liking every single quality about that person. It's more about loving someone as a person. However, there does have to be a certain level of understanding for these things.
When you get a grasp of inherent qualities of your significant other, and you find yourself wanting to share in their problems and their joys, it's a good indication you have something genuine. In turn, becoming vulnerable and truly open with the other person by sharing more about you and weaving in your thoughts and activities around the other person is one of the scary aspects of love.
During a time when the other person might challenge who you are and expect you to overly compromise, it is difficult to love the other. In this sense, you might see that the opposites attracting from different poles finally collided and made an immense explosion. You're hurt, and you want to hate so badly. But if it's so much harder to hate, then it means something else about your relationship. It means from the first time you said you loved the other, you committed yourself to a long history together, and it's the same kind of commitment whether you have been together for two years or forever.
After a while, you find you and your significant other are no longer experiencing unspoken anticipation of what will happen next. It may seem you do not share exhilarating times as much as before because of the comfort you feel when you're with the other person.
Perhaps these kind of moments make a relationship seem less glamorous. It seems natural the solution to your happiness is to cutoff the things that are imperfect and bothersome. You might want to give up so badly. Take a step back and realize what's important.
Realize what's exhilarating is when you're in love you'll always be there for the other, that being with your significant other is almost more than being with family. Having the opportunity to be oneself with each other is the greatest gift of true unconditional love. For me personally and throughout my days of thinking, I have found I won't find happiness by cutting off all that is imperfect and bothersome. For these two words often define a relationship, only because it is real -- only because it is pure love. In the end, when you see your goal as to simply stay together and make the other happy, then you're feeling love, which is something more than these letters.
