I received great news last week: My colleague The Rick and I would be traveling to Milwaukee to cover the Penn State women's basketball team's Sweet 16 matchup against No. 1 seed Connecticut. This being my first "real" assignment on the road to cover a major sporting event, I was ecstatic.

But then I got the bad news.

Because of financial considerations, The Daily Collegian was sending us on a bus. Not just any bus — a fan bus, packed with roughly 35 hardcore Lady Lions fans. We'd be making a 13-hour drive to Milwaukee on a fan bus, and somehow I knew this was an experience I'd not soon forget.

The following is an account of my travels on Friday with The Rick across five states to cover the Penn State-UConn game. All of the information is true, except for a few times when I blacked out and had to make stuff up.

Enjoy.

5 a.m.: I wake up with a bad case of Lady Lions fever. It's off to The Bryce Jordan Center in the bitter cold of State College winter; the odyssey begins.

5:30 a.m.: While waiting patiently in the shadows of the Jordan Center, a dark figure materializes just over the horizon. It is The Rick, bubbly as ever and ready to go.

5:39 a.m.: We board the Fullington Trailways bus in the parking lot and realize that we are the only students present. The average age of the passengers is easily 65, and they oblige us with a rousing round of applause.

It's good to be young.

6 a.m.: We're off. The early-morning buzz on the bus is Indiana's upset over Duke in the men's NCAA Tournament last night. Could Penn State over UConn be next? But perhaps more even more exciting, our tour guide announces that we will receive "Kelly Mazzante-style" T-shirts when we arrive in Milwaukee. Awww, yeah.

6:21 a.m.: Otis Spunkmeyer muffins are passed around. Let the good times roll.

6:34 a.m.: In a touching moment, The Rick and I watch the sunrise together.

7:15 a.m.: We've arrived in DuBois to change drivers. The temperature outside: a bone-chilling 17 degrees.

9:05 a.m.: Just after I finally fall asleep, I'm awakened by our kindly bus driver Godfrey, who tells the passengers we've arrived in Ohio.

10:09 a.m.: A box of assorted crackers are passed around. The Rick demands sour cream and onion, but they are all gone. The Rick is not a happy man.

11 a.m.: Godfrey decides to stop at the Erie Islands Travel Plaza for some "eye-talian" food at Sbarro. I'm almost tempted to buy some Cleveland Browns memorabilia at the gift shop. The lack of sleep must be clouding my judgment.

12:10 p.m.: The passengers decide to watch a video of "Remember the Titans," the story of a Virginia high school football team that must learn to play together in order to achieve success. The Lady Lions began to achieve success earlier this year when they learned to play together. Coincidence? I think not.

2 p.m.: My first ever time-zone crossing. It's now really 1:00 p.m.; I'm confused. Are we there yet?

1:50 p.m.: A few passengers are comparing a certain Big Ten women's basketball coach (who will remain nameless) to Mrs. Doubtfire. We've also started watching "Return to Me," a love story starring David Duchovny and Minnie Driver. I think I'm going to pass out.

2 p.m.: We drive past Notre Dame, home of the 2001 women's basketball national champions (who are no longer in the 2002 tourney, by the way, thanks to a loss to who else, UConn).

2:50 p.m.: This movie isn't so bad. I think The Rick is dead.

3:15 p.m.: We're in Chicago now and just went past Comiskey Park, home of the White Sox; I'm speechless.

4:12 p.m.: We're stuck in Chicago's rush hour traffic, and The Rick is alive again. Get us off this bus!

4:37 p.m.: Just passed Six Flags Great America. Sorry, but Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey is way better. Are we there yet? My butt is numb.

4:44 p.m.: Wisconsin!

4:50 p.m.: We just went past a sign that read, "Bong Recreation Area." Or maybe I was hallucinating?

5:16 p.m.: To our left we see Miller Park, the dwelling place of Major League Baseball's version of the anti-Christ, Bud Selig.

5:31 p.m.: We're finally here, 13 and a half hours later! Godfrey took off with our Kelly Mazzante-style T-shirts, but it doesn't matter because we're here! And in two days, we're turning around and doing it all over again!