The 74th annual Academy Awards will be upon us in a few days with stars journeying down the red carpet and managing to dodge Joan Rivers. But they first had to get nominated to take that coveted walk.

Here are some of my proven steps to becoming an Oscar winner:

Be White: The Academy is notorious for lacking in the diversity department. This year is the first time that so many (three) black actors have been nominated in the major acting categories: Halle Berry (Monster's Ball), Will Smith (Ali) and Denzel Washington (Training Day).

This is Washington's fifth nomination for an Oscar.

However, out of the five times that he has been nominated, he has only won once as Best Supporting Actor in 1989 (Glory).

The only black actor to ever win a Best Actor/Actress category was Sidney Poitier (Lilies of the Field) almost 30 years ago.

There has also never been a Best Picture film with a predominantly black cast.

Be Old (men): Normally, there are never any young males with breakout performances who win Oscars.

The youngest male to win an Oscar in recent years was Nicholas Cage (Leaving Las Vegas), who was already 31 at the time.

The typical age of a Best Actor Winner is 40 and above. The Academy seems to like to honor males who have been in the profession for a number of years. Often they recognize their achievements rather than the movie.

Be Young (women): Not since Jessica Tandy (Driving Miss Daisy) in 1989, has a Best Actress winner been over the age of 50.

Young ladies have always dominated the field, like Julia Roberts (Erin Brockovich), Hilary Swank (Boys Don't Cry), and Gwyneth Paltrow (Shakespeare in Love).

Older actresses are often overlooked by the Academy and by Hollywood.

Usually once a woman hits the age of 50, she is put out to pasture because of the dwindling number of roles for older women.

Anyone can plainly see Hollywood loves its babes.

Play Someone Disabled: The Academy loves to see actors/actresses play roles of people with handicaps, mental illnesses or diseases.

Just take a look at this year's nominees: Russell Crowe (A Beautiful Mind), Sean Penn (I Am Sam) and Judi Dench (Iris).

Take a look at past winners, Jack Nicholson (As Good As it Gets), Geoffrey Rush (Shine), Tom Hanks (Forrest Gump and Philadelphia), Al Pacino (Scent of a Woman), Anthony Hopkins (The Silence of the Lambs), the list goes on and on.

Play Strong, Independent (women): For the most part women who win the Oscar cannot be gentle, wilting flowers. They have to be strong and stand up for themselves in a man's world.

For years women have been strong and independent: i.e., Julia Roberts, Gwyneth Paltrow, Hilary Swank and Susan Sarandon (Dead Man Walking). To make it in Hollywood you have to stand up to the boys and sometimes even become one.

Be Nice or a Good Loser: If you are a nice gal or guy, you can often look for a repeat win with the little gold man.

For example, everyone loves Tom Hanks, Kevin Spacey, Dustin Hoffman, Jodie Foster and Sally Field; these actors do not generally piss off too many people.

Russell Crowe needs to take a lesson from these folks; he needs to work on his bad-boy image to take another little buddy home this weekend.

If you are a good loser then the Academy will someday remember you. Often no matter whether you made a good film or not, the Academy offers "consolation Oscars."

Perhaps an actor has been snubbed for years (Denzel Washington) or the Academy fell short of awarding you the year before (Ridley Scott), they will try to make up for it.

Then there is the "consolation acting Oscar," an award they give to an actor (Ian McKellen) in the film because they are going to ignore your (Lord of the Rings) film in the Best Picture category — this is often the case in supporting actor categories.

True Formula for Success: Academy, wise-up and get off your pedestal. Too many great actors and films are being ignored by your ultra-conservative and biased opinions.