The Order of the Sword, which until recently was a secret organization at Penn State, has recently stirred a fuss in the sharp-edged steel world after questioning an age-old assumption. Deciding to reach out to the community, this normally seclusionary club has taken to the streets spreading its gospel.

Matt Zidik (sophomore-telecommunications) is the ranking member of the Order and goes by the title "Supreme."

He is the one who decided to speak out against a certain metal-wielding fighter named Madmartigan, who was showcased in Willow years back and who is commonly recognized as the best swordsman of all time.

"Look, I'm not saying the guy is bad, but he is certainly nowhere close to being the best. He says 'I'm the greatest swordsman to ever live,' then all of a sudden Willow believes him, and the next thing you know it's the whole world, practically," Zidik said.

The vice-Supreme and founding member of the Order of the Sword, Mark Winkler (sophomore-division of undergraduate studies) is in total agreement of Zidik's move to abolish the Madmartigan myth.

"In terms of technique, Madmartigan doesn't hold a candle to so many of the true greats — Inigo Montoya from Princess Bride, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Stonewall Jackson.

No offense, but the guy is nothing more than untapped fury. Sure, with his physicality and rage he's going to do damage, but in terms of true skill he just isn't very good."

Madmartigan was unavailable for comment, but Zidik, the same man who initially claimed that Madmartigan was not as good as commonly perceived, jumped to Madmartigan's defense.

"I don't understand where this is coming from," Zidik said. "Madmartigan invented the run and scream with the sword technique and is such a pioneer in so many other ways."

Zidik was phased by questions as to which side he actually takes.

"I said Madmartigan was no good? Well yes that's true, but . . . I think I have to go to the bathroom."

Winkler also showed signs of confusion, switching back and forth as to whether or not he believes Madmartigan is the greatest swordsmen of all time.

"I like pickles and I really don't know what I said," confessed Winkler. "Look I'm just really tired and I've been really busy lately with recruitment for the Order. Perhaps what happened was . . . well no . . . yes, thank you."

Winkler began the Order of the Sword last year with a mission "to practice sword fighting and to also do other things." He named himself "Vice-Supreme" and quickly began searching for a leader to take on the position of head Supreme.

"It might seem a little unorthodox that I founded the club yet didn't take on the highest position but hi, how are you."

Winkler had heard of Zidik, who owns no private property except for a sword his late cousin gave him, and immediately began the recruiting process.

Zidik, who will not buy any material goods due to moral objections, accepted charge of the Order and since then membership has steadily risen by zero members.

If the Order ever actually gets a member, the newcomer must undergo an intense period of initiation.

During this time, the swordsman must dedicate himself to learning the life of an Order member and he must also follow commands from the existing two members. Once inducted, the man (the club only accepts males) has equal say in decisions.

Until recently the Order had closed off membership to the general public, but in the hopes of interesting someone, applications are now being accepted by any male who has an intense desire to learn about swords.

So far, the ploy is failing to work.

"We haven't heard from anyone yet," said Zidik, "but it's only been four weeks. Our meetings are on Monday nights at 8 by the HUB fishtank and all are welcome — except girls," he added.

Winkler, who claims meetings are actually on Wednesday afternoons at 3, isn't worried about turnout. He's just glad word about Madmartigan and the Order of the Sword is getting out.

"I like changing the way people look at things," he said. "We're glad people are hearing the truth about Madmartigan, and the truth is he isn't very good."

Furious at these charges, Winkler adamently refutes himself.

"The truth is Mark Winkler is a raving loony with absolutely no intelligence."

When pointed out that he himself is Mark Winkler, the Vice-Supreme responded: "how convenient."

Zidik, who two hours later came back from the restroom, when asked which side he took, again excused himself, this time citing a need to check the thermostat temperature.