Someone call 911, stat! John Q is in dire need of immediate attention — medical or otherwise.

Denzel Washington stars as John Q. Archibald, a big-hearted, blue-collar family man.

When his son suddenly collapses during a Little League game, the 'rents' learn that their precious bundle of Gary-Coleman-look-alike joy will die unless he receives a heart transplant.

The dilemma is that the heartless HMO refuses to fund the operation and the hardhearted doctors will not add John's son's name to the transplant list without a down payment.

John's heartbroken wife wails to her husband to "Do something."

This is when John Q transforms from its feeble attempt at a social critique, family-values drama into an even feebler attempt at an action movie.

All realism dashes out of the chrome hospital doors when John single-handedly takes the emergency room hostage to force the doctors into performing the life-saving surgery.

The rest of John Q plays out like an episode of ER gone awry.

It wants audiences to take its anti-HMO commentary seriously. But hackneyed plots, tedious dialogue and poor direction overwhelm any genuine heartache viewers may feel.

While John Q aims to bring audiences to their feet in disgruntled fury with the current HMO situation, it may instead land them on their backs with heart attacks.

To put it simply, it lacks heart.

-- Reviewed by Caralyn Green