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All of these were recently delivered to my Hotmail inbox, just three examples of the 13 similarly themed e-mails I received that day. During a typical half-hour television show, I was subjected to approximately eight minutes of commercials, not counting prominent product placements. While viewing a web page, new windows appear from out of nowhere, desperate for attention.

It seems that for all our precious technological innovation, the only thing it absolutely increases is not an interwoven global communal kinship, but the presence of advertising in our lives.

Regardless of your hobbies or interests, you are almost guaranteed a constant media bombardment of pitches, special offers, sales and proposals. Unless your pursuits keep you away from all societal communication, you're likely to get some kind of ad flashed at you; and for all of us who don't enjoy bird watching, hiking or Dungeons & Dragons, this presents something of a problem. How can we avoid dastardly marketers that, by hook or by crook, hassle us with their commercials?

Ideally, deleting offensive e-mail and changing channels should be enough, but advertisers apparently just won't take the hint.

Now, they'll send you email with subject lines like, "Hey" or "Order Confirmation #25," just to dupe you into reading their pitch.

Perhaps if their products weren't so shady, people would consider using them. I, as of today, do not know one individual who reduced their debt, refinanced their mortgage, obtained their free credit report, invested in South African diamond mines, found a new exciting job in home sales, bought German schiezer videos, or discovered true love from any stupid e-mail.

The annoyances just continue if you decide to access any Web page. If you want to know when someone has been using the Internet too much, just get close to them and utter "X-10 camera" and watch them clench their fists in rage. For a device that is supposed to be inconspicuous, they sure make it huge enough in their ads.

In case you haven't seen them, they feature the aforementioned camera, designed to provide security as a hidden recorder. Alongside the camera, is a picture of a scantily clad woman, in a somewhat provocative pose and apparently unaware of the camera's presence.

Now that I think about it, if that camera can offer me protection and safety by stationing scantily clad women around my house, I'll definitely take one, probably two or three because you can never take chances when it comes to home security.

Advertising is the blob, sucking in and devouring all of our activities until one day in the not too distant future, we will all have endorsement deals. For those who don't believe me, I offer Drive Free Signs, an Alabama firm that will pay you to cover your car in advertisements. Do you want to be stuck in a highway traffic jam sandwiched between a Ford selling adult diapers and a Toyota pushing baked goods? I thought not.

So what are we to do to prevent this apocalyptic world of overexposed advertising? I suggest a concept called backlash marketing. When you see a sales pitch that you don't enjoy, let people know about it.

For example, if a certain sandwich chain has been dragging your once proud name through the mud, express your displeasure at the situation. (As an aside, there didn't used to be anything wrong with the name Jared. Now all people do is tell me how I inspire them. I really wish that the TV Jared had just stayed fat and maybe had a heart attack. I feel like Michael Bolton in Office Space.)

There are plenty of venues for you to spread the word that you are dissatisfied. You could just tell all of your friends, post on a message board or let loose in any number of public events.

The one thing you can't do is apply for a Collegian columnist position to let the Penn State community hear all of your idiosyncratic problems and rants.

That job is taken.