How will you be observing St. Valentine's Day this year? Candy? Flowers? A candlelight dinner? Putting Marilyn Manson's cover of "Tainted Love" on repeat in your CD player and throwing darts at a picture of someone who broke your heart? If you chose that latter, I am guessing you don't feel like this is a day for celebration.

For some reason, we have turned a religious holiday into a greeting card free-for-all, and then we make ourselves feel bad if we are single on February 14. As if we are somehow not "allowed" to participate. Give me a break.

What is it that makes being single some sort of a problem that needs to be solved? Why do some people knock themselves out searching for some other person to commit themselves to? The way I figure it, if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Why make yourself crazy stressing over it?

I am single (unless, of course, you count my husband in Atlanta, but that's a whole other column). Having a great deal of experience being single, I have often found myself pondering the decisions that people make regarding their romantic relationships.

Societal expectations, personal goals, emotions and hormones are only a few of the things that play into our motivations for deciding to spend our lives (or even a portion of our lives) with someone else. I have yet to figure out, however, why some single people beat themselves up for being single.

If we spend our time being upset about what our lives are not, how are we ever supposed to be able to appreciate what our lives are?

A friend of mine has a theory that people aren't really ready to share their lives with a significant other until they have become content with the idea of remaining single. At first read, that may sound strange, but read it a couple more times. It makes sense. If you can't be happy with your life the way it is, with the gifts you have already been given, then how are you ready to move on to something else?

When I moved here six months ago, I had but one rule -- no men allowed! Now, before you lump me with the bitter cynics of the world, let me tell you the rationale for my rule. I had reached a point in my life where a break from the drama of emotional entanglements was long overdue. Too much of my time and energy had been wasted on people who couldn't have cared less. Why continue? Why not spend some of that time and energy on myself? Wow! Talk about a novel concept!

This new opportunity was a time for me to be selfish and focus my attention on the only person I have any control over-- me. If you read my first Collegian column, you'll know that I got a good start on my plan. I must say that it has been an interesting road. By no means am I at the end of it, but I have already learned something very important.

Every person on this planet must find strength, happiness, peace and independence within themselves. No one else can give it to us, and we shouldn't expect them to. Until we have found those things, or at least come to the realization that we are responsible for them, we have little to offer anyone else.

For my part, I have enjoyed living by my new rule. It's not to say that I won't ever consider the possibility of not being single at some point in the future. It's only to say that I choose not to worry about it. Besides, I once bet my aunt a hundred dollars that I would never get married. Not a bad chunk of change, if you ask me.

I enjoy being single. I would even go so far as to say that I revel in it. It suits me.

I once read a quote that I think states my point perfectly. "It's better to be alone than to wish you were."

So, to all you single folks out there, (especially Anne, Lisa and Tamara) Happy Valentine's Day. Other people may celebrate with candy and flowers. Some will even spend it feeling sorry for themselves.

I say we ought to spend it appreciating life--in whatever form it has come to us.

As for the person who broke your heart. . . that idiot didn't deserve you. Trust me.