While many can't believe it's not butter, questions have recently been raised about whether John Lennon ever acknowledged the existence of the soft, creamy substance to begin with. Students across campus have been forced to take a stance on their own butter beliefs.

"This is worse than when he said he was bigger than Jesus," said Keith Emerick (sophomore-sociology). "What kind of person doesn't believe in butter? I can't imagine."

Some are questioning Lennon's faith after it was discovered that in a song entitled "God," off of his 1970 Plastic Ono Band album, it appears as if Lennon screams "I don't believe . . . in butter!"

According to the written lyrics, the line is actually "I don't believe in Buddha." However, some say Lennon's vocalization of the name Buddha bears a striking resemblance to "butter."

Whether or not Lennon said Buddha or butter, the controversy has aroused the feelings of many. Two sides, the believers and non-believers, have squared off in a bitter battle over butter.

"If John Lennon doesn't believe in butter I'd like to know what he put on his toast every morning — jam? And if so, what kind of jam?" Emerick questioned. "He should come over to my house for Thanksgiving, we carve a turkey out of a big block of butter. That will put the fear of butter in him."

Michael Todd (senior-accounting), who said he eats sticks of butter at a time, also is a proponent.

"I'm a radical butter believer; no matter what you tell me, I'm still going to believe in butter," he said.

Not everyone adheres to such strict principles of faith, though. Some individuals are convinced that the supposition of butter is a crude, irrational act, especially in these times of scientific reason.

"Butter does not exist, it's a state of mind," said Cam Richardson (freshman-psychology). "When people are eating butter it's not really butter."

Even some of those who believe in butter claim it is a tough philosophical problem.

"I believe in what's called butter but it's merely a word, a title put on an abstract," explained Patrick Reyburn (freshman-division of undergraduate studies).

Todd acknowledges that "once you eat it you don't have proof anymore that it existed."

Epistemological concerns aside, a few think that Lennon indeed says butter, but he intended meanings other than the literal one.

"I suspect he does believe in butter," said Sarah Holtz (senior-hotel and restaurant and institution management). But, she adds, "Maybe butter means something else."

Reyburn has his own idea: "Butter could be the fattening of capitalism."

Some propose that while Lennon meant for Butter to be taken literally, he was only saying he disapproved of its consumption.

Ashley Altemara (junior-economics), who bet her life that butter exists, thinks that while Lennon accepts the existence of butter, he "just doesn't think it's a good thing."

As Todd points out, "Lennon was a skinny guy, perhaps he just didn't eat it. Also, he was really rich, he could eat whatever he wanted, so why butter"?

And then there are those who argue that Lennon isn't referring to butter either metaphorically or literally. Small sect claims that Lennon was actually stating his disbelief in a person named Butter James. Not much is known about this elusive fellow, but word has it that he likes to say, "Hi, I'm Butter James."

Richardson claims to know him personally.

"He's a good guy. He has feelings like everyone else. People should go and say 'hi' when they see him."

Many doubt his existence, but Todd points out that "as a food product becomes more accepted people try to make everyday words out of it. Perhaps someday there will be a Creamcheese Jones."

In a surprising turn of events, Butter James supposedly has his own existential doubts.

"I know Butter James and I don't think he believes in John Lennon," says Emerick.

So it appears that the dilemma has come full circle. Coincidence or not, both oppositions advocate their belief systems concerning butterism.

"You touch it, feel it and taste it," said Altemara. "We use it everyday." She therefore reasons that it must exist.

Skeptics remain dissentful.

"The world is delusional," said Richardson. "Just like no one thinks the earth is the center of the universe anymore, someday everyone will recognize that there is no butter."

Like so many metaphysical questions, The Lennon-butter problem is one sure to spread the human race for a long time to come.