Whoever let the dogs out, please lock them up . . . forever.

Perhaps that's an unfair criticism of a movie that's audience doesn't look for goodies like careful editing or a well-polished mise en scène. But keeping that in mind, Disney's Snow Dogs fails to capture people passed the "aaww's" it received from the cute newborn puppies at the end.

Cuba Gooding Jr. plays Ted Brooks, a Miami celebrity dentist living Miami's sunny city life. After learning he was adopted from a deceased African-American, Alaskan native, sled-racing mother, Brooks flies up North to pick up his canine inheritance, prize-winning snow dogs. Jealous of Brooks' new pets, semi-antagonist turned softie "Thunder" Jack Johnson (James Coburn) doesn't hesitate to show Brooks the trail back to Miami.

Adding to the story, Johnson is Brooks biological father.

What looks like a light family comedy becomes a soap opera that immaturely throws a snowball of unnecessary racial and parental conflict at the immature audience that still refers to canines as "doggies."

Also unnecessary is North Face and Carhartt's suggestive showcasing of their latest outdoor wear. Topping that is Brooks' partiality to Michael Bolton, whose "Time, Love, and Tenderness" triumphantly resounds in Disney's traditional rotating kiss scene near the movie's end. But the clincher has to be Sisqo, who puts away the thongs and picks the dental tongs, playing the role as Brooks' G-rated, wisecracking cousin and fellow dentist.

The shards of humor, like Brooks falling on ice a million times, are more fitting for the children running up and down the aisles. For Penn State students however, Snow Dogs has the entertainment value equivalent to Richard Simmons' Dance Your Pants Off.

— Reviewed By Mike Caggeso