Upcoming break can be challenging

The end of the semester and the upcoming holiday season bring to mind a number of images: blazing fireplaces and tables swelling with food, close times with family, a much needed break from classes and unlimited discretionary time. Unfortunately for many, the break might conjure a less pleasant image: changed or lost relationships, juggling competing social demands and emotional challenge.

The difference between our expectations and the actual experience can be quite jarring. Returning to home we may find that a different rhythm of life persists, and others' expectations of whom we were, rather than who we are, lead to complications and conflict. Making the best of your holiday and semester break can be challenging. However with some thought and planning it is possible for you to reduce potential conflicts and stress throughout this period.

Here are some tips for your consideration:

Limited expectations -- no disappointment. Having limited or reasonable expectations is the best preparation for being satisfied with whatever happens.

"Going with the flow" can keep us from getting stuck even when others might be.

Let your family know about your plans for the break before you arrive at home. Your family will then have an idea of what you would like to do and are less likely to plan all of your time for you.

If you will be splitting time with various family members, establish your plans ahead of time and inform everyone. There is no need to feel guilty about your decisions. If questioned, state decisively that you are doing the best you can to be available and to accommodate everyone.

Make certain your plans include your family in some way. This will help them feel included in your life and make it less likely that they will try to plan extra activities for you in order to get a chance to see you. Once again, quality time is far superior to mere linear time spent with others.

Don't fall into the gift getting/giving trap. Instead of dwelling on what gifts you would like to give or receive, ask yourself the question: what three qualities or experiences do I want to have more of this holiday?

Time to relax, good communication, intimate conversations, a chance to explore a hobby -- answers mightvary widely.

Prepare your fam plan to compensate in the future. Establish times when these topics are off limits to discussion. This will allow everyone time to regroup and focus on the more enjoyable aspects of the holiday.

Stay physically healthy. Get exercise every day, eat sensibly and, if you drink, be moderate in your consumption -- and get enough sleep.

Don't lose your sense of humor. Mix folly with holly -- it will please Aunt Polly -- you get the message!

Be safe. Drive carefully, avoid risky behavior and make well-considered judgements. We want to see you back at Penn State, fresh and renewed, at the beginning of the Spring Semester.

Take a few minutes now to consider the above tips (and others that you may think of), think it through in your head, and lay your plans.

Then have a merry, merry, ecstatically happy, absolutely delightful -- check that -- have a reasonably satisfying, legitimately enjoyable, comfortable and restful break. You have earned it!