Cherry Falls

For those looking to laugh a little in between the screams this Halloween, Cherry Falls is one of the most laughable teen slasher flicks money can rent.

Attempting to mooch off the success of the late '90s resurgence of teen horror films, the straight-to-video Cherry Falls uses every cliché in scary movie existence while still trying to pass itself off as a serious and sexy horror film.

The story takes place in the conveniently named Cherry Falls, a small backwater town in Virginia. Two teens are murdered one night while getting a little frisky in the woods. At first thought to be an isolated event, soon more teens are murdered in stereotypical horror flick fashion — knives, knives and more knives.

Our heroine is (of course) the sheriff's daughter, Jody, played by Brittany Murphy in mimicking fashion of Neve Campbell's innocent Sidney Prescott from the Scream series. Her father (played by Michael Biehn) deduces that the town's mystery killer has a pattern in his murders. All of the killings have been of virgin teens (enter shocked expression here).

Once the word gets out, the teens of the town organize a massive party for everyone to lose their virginity so they can be taken off the killer's hit list. Of course our heroine is a virgin who realizes she's in danger but doesn't feel ready to lose it — at first. Her boyfriend does his best to persuade her otherwise, which only leads her to be suspicious of him.

If the viewer can't figure out whom the killer is by halfway through the film, he or she really needs to go out and watch some real horror flicks. Otherwise, rent Cherry Falls and watch one of the best worst movies ever. And if for nothing else, rent it to watch Jay Mohr attempt a serious role in a horror film.

— Reviewed by Jason Cox

Dawn of the Dead

"When there's no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth."

So goes the somewhat grisly tagline to George A. Romero's 1978 cult classic Dawn of the Dead. The Dead indeed dominate cinematographer Michael Gornick's bleak Pittsburgh cityscape in memorable, moaning, brain-munching fashion. Though it is generally regarded as the sequel to Romero's famed Night of the Living Dead (1968), Dawn succeeds at forging its own zombie universe, replete with uniquely frightening (if campy) armies of the walking dead.

The film's representative last bastion of humanity, which consists of two SWAT team members and a young couple, takes refuge in an abandoned shopping mall. Appropriately, these protagonists are nondescript; after all, it is much easier for us to bear seeing one of our heroes mauled, devoured and metamorphosed into a gnarling, flesh-eating beast if we are not especially endeared to him or her. The lead actors (Scott H. Reiniger sound familiar?) are intentionally upstaged, because the true stars of the film are the Dead — the gruesomely disfigured, merciless scavengers lurking behind every ominous corner.

The humans fight back, blasting zombie heads off indiscriminately, but we sense throughout that they are fighting a losing battle. Their makeshift sanctuary is doomed to come crumbling down, ultimately as a result of both human greed and the unquenchable hunger of the Dead.

Some suggest the film is an allegorical commentary on the cultural tumult of the late 1970s. This may be true. But, on first viewing, I would recommend bypassing the film's socio-political implications in favor of the grotesquely alluring gore, guns and zombies.

— Reviewed by Nicholas Norcia

Hocus Pocus

Wicked witches, a headless zombie, a black cat, a full harvest moon, marathon trick-or-treating and Bette Midler . . . what more could you want out of a Halloween movie?

Okay, so Bette and her red, red hair may be the most frightening parts of Disney's 1993 family film Hocus Pocus, but there are plenty of redeeming qualities in this zany Halloween adventure.

Set in historically spooky Salem, Mass., after a night of serious trick-or-treating with his kid sister Dani (Thora Birch), Max Dennison (Omri Katz) makes a mischievous mistake while trying to impress Allison (Vinessa Shaw), the girl of his dreams.

Max lights the ominously titled Black Flame candle, which conjures up the Sanderson sisters, three 17th-century witches (Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, Sarah Jessica Parker) who need to suck the lives out of all the children of Salem before sunrise, or else they won't live to see it.

With the help of a talking cat named Thackery Binx, our adolescent heroes set out on a trying quest to stop the sinister witches, who despite being so evil are comically incompetent.

While Hocus Pocus may not scare anyone over the age of six, it will delight all with its sugar-coated cappiness, inclusive incorporation of everything Halloween and Disney standard happy ending.

— Reviewed by Caralyn Green

Idle Hands

Idle Hands is the touching story of a boy and his right hand. If only it were that simple for pot smoker Anton (Devon Sawa). His life of munchies and channel surfing is interrupted when a demonic spirit possesses his hand sending it on a murdering spree. It murders his parents and two best friends (Seth Green and Elden Henson), and now it is up to Anton get a handle on the situation before it takes the subject of his affection, Molly (Jessica Alba), to Hell with it! That's quite a handful! Fortunately his two friends come back to lend him a hand in stopping it. Can Anton get a finger on the situation and save his classmates from being handed over to its evil embrace? Not only does this movie rely on and make fun of every single teen-slasher cliché in the book, it also shows how a handmade bong can come in handy (I swear, that's the last pun!) when someone's life is in danger. This is hands-down (sorry!) one of the worst yet funniest Halloween films ever. Whether or not it's intentionally hilarious doesn't matter, it's sure to get every viewer's hands-on attention.

The Omen

Forget all those teen horror movies with the girls of Party of Five frantically running away from the killers who just happen to be their close friends. Even Michael Myers can't spook an audience as well as The Omen.

Gregory Peck plays Senator Robert Thorn in this 1976 Richard Donner film. After his wife gives birth to a stillborn baby, Thorn decides to secretly substitute it with a son whose real mother died during childbirth.

Five years later, young Damien is a normal and carefree boy. Any sense of innocence is lost, however, when he witnesses his nanny commit suicide during his birthday party.

When more mysterious accidents and deaths occur, Thorn begins to suspect that his son, whose behavior is drastically different now, is somehow responsible. Soon enough we learn that Damien is none other than the Antichrist.

Thorn is faced with a problem that is unearthly — he must kill his own son before he destroys the world. Although Damien is small in size, he is unstoppable in power.

The plot is rather outrageous at times, but the events in the movie take its audience on a gruesome ride. Unlike most horror movies that are filled with blood and guts, The Omen is psychologically frightening. The very idea that this child turns out to be the spawn of Satan himself is just plain scary. Damien grins at the sight of death the same way another child smiles when given candy.

We all tend to think of the 1973 classic The Exorcist as being the quintessential movie about the Devil who takes over a child's body. While that film is surely haunting, The Omen may just make your skin crawl even more. After all, Damien isn't confined to a bed.

— Reviewed by Jackie Roberts

The Witches of Eastwick

Voodoo, witchcraft, sex, jealousy and indulgence drip sinfully from the seams of this enchanting movie's plot.

The story begins in a quaint little paisley-patterned New England town by the name of Eastwick, where three beautiful gal pals (Cher, Michelle Pfeiffer, Susan Sarandon) lead their unfulfilling provincial lives . . . until a drunken wish brings them all exactly what they thought they'd hoped for. The "perfect man."

When he rolls into town in his stretch limousine and purchases the town's abandoned mansion, the mysterious Daryl Van Horne (Jack Nicholson) stirs up an unhealthy cauldron of intrigue and gossip among the bored townspeople.

Before the end of his first week in Eastwick, he's managed to lure all three of the gorgeous girlfriends away from their mundane little lives, playing on their curiosity and offering them the rewards of the good life in a dangerous, seductive dance.

Before long, rumors begin flying about the evil orgies playing out within the walls of Van Horne's mansion, and the three friends begin to withdraw from the lavish lifestyle they've tasted. This incenses Van Horne, and soon strange and frightening events begin happening in the lives of the three women. The resolution to this conflict shows itself in a backlash of magical revenge that keeps your eyes glued to the screen.

This dark comedy is a powerful whirlwind of all seven of the deadly sins that will make you want to watch it again and again. Scenes of luxury, like the overindulgent foursome running through a ballroom filled with pink balloons, or lounging in a velvet upholstered living room munching on bowls of succulent cherries, make you long for a bit of pampering yourself. Provocative dialogue led primarily by the charismatic Van Horne make you question the conventions of daily life.

This film is a window into the world of the impossible and the taboo that allows you to live vicariously through the well-developed characters. And, as can be inferred from the impressive cast list, the acting is incredible.

Veronica Cartwright, who plays Felicia Alden, a self-righteous religious figurehead of the Eastwick community, gives a disturbingly convincing performance, portraying a paranoid busybody apparently possessed by the evil powers of the lascivious Van Horne. Susan Sarandon plays the perfect double-faced conservative librarian-type turned sensuous siren. And Jack Nicholson . . . need I say more?

The Witches of Eastwick is the ideal melting pot of funny, ominous and enticing — a thought-provoking accessory to your Halloween routine.

— Reviewed by Camille Lamb