The Digital Collegian - Published independently by students at Penn State
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[ Friday, Oct. 26, 2001 ]

A 'how-to' guide for having a cheap, satisfying Halloween

For The Collegian

Halloween renders memories of flickering jack-o-lanterns, pillowcases bulging with all sorts of delicacies that made your dentist cringe, and themed parties with washtub apple bobbing and tool-shed haunted houses.

Don't let the fact that you are now a poor college student bum you out of enjoying the holiday you loved so much as a child. Use your lack of funds as a way to find unique and frugal methods of celebration.

1. Candy:

Head to your local dining commons for a fine selection of all things sweet. Did you really think that those colorfully alluring M&Ms, crunchy crumbled Oreos, and peanut-buttery Butterfingers were just for topping off your after dinner fro-yo sundae? Think again.

2. Costume:

Trade gear with the girl/guy down the hall. Example: "Today I'm not Josh. Today I'm Sara from 357."

3. Trick or Treating:

This shouldn't be hard for you. If you're anything like your peers, you take advantage of your neighbors' generosity each night when you get the midnight munchies.

So benefit from your friends' penchant for sharing and mooch, mooch, mooch. Just make sure that your friends reply to your "Trick or treat?" with "Treat."

If not, flee.

These people obviously did not learn any basic kindergarten skills and should not be trusted.

4. Pumpkin Carving:

It's one of the dining commons' "hand fruits."

It's round.

It's orange.

It's an orange!

And it kind of looks like a pumpkin . . . Slice a happy smile into that citrus treat and it'll rival your family's meticulously carved jack-o-lantern.

5. Apple Bobbing:


GRAPHIC: Jamie Perruquet

Another use emerges for yet another delicious "hand fruit."

Get your friends to pocket an apple apiece before exiting the dining commons.

Return to your place of slumber and utilize your under-used dorm bathtub or dish filled kitchen sink by throwing an apple bobbing party.

Loser takes a bath in the tub or washes the dishes.

6. Hayride:

Ride the Loop with your eyes closed.

7. Scary Movie:

Why watch when you could experience? Bypass Cinema 5 for "Beaver Canyon" at 2 a.m. on a Friday night. Bring friends for safety.

8. Haunted House:

You don't have to waste your cash to be scared out of your over-stressed mind when you live in a dorm room smaller than a bathroom stall or share an apartment with ten of your closets friends.

Simply stop making your bed, washing dishes, or doing laundry.

If you already don't perform these domestic duties, you're ahead of the pack in your quest to create an eerily frightening atmosphere.

For additional terror, check out your roommates before they take their morning showers.

 



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