The theater is dark and silent. Suddenly, an image blinks on the screen. A lone audience member breaks out into a chant of "I say Tom, You Say Green." No one responds, he shuts up and a title flashes onto the screen.

Freddy Got Fingered.

The title alone should cue the viewer that this film, starring MTV's Tom Green, should more than live up to the slightly out-there comedian's style. If the title doesn't give you a hint, the first half hour of the film should, in which Green fondles several animals — some living, some not — licks his friend's bleeding gouge and tapes an umbilical cord to his stomach. Viewers may just want to pass on the popcorn and Milk Duds for this one.

Allrighty then.

Freddy Got Fingered is the story of a boy named Gord (Green) and his love of doodling. Gord is 28 and still lives with his mother and his hot-tempered, destined-for-the-loony-bin father (Rip Torn). The conflict of the movie is the tension between father and son — Mr. Brody wants his son to get a job while Gord refuses to settle for anything less than becoming a professional animator.

To work toward his goal, Gord moves out of his parents' house to take a job at a cheese sandwich company that just happens to be located near an animation studio in Hollywood. Disguised as a British bobby with news of a death, Gord weasels his way into a meeting with the studio head, who tells Gord that he shows promise but needs to create a story that makes sense.

Apparently his advice didn't apply to this movie, but that's a different story.

Anyway, after sticking a loaded gun in his mouth, Gord decides to find a new motivation, moves back in with his parents and tries to refocus his work. His new motivation quickly becomes a woman — yes, a woman. She suggests that Gord try to draw in a more creative setting, which leads to the "Daddy, would you like some sausage, sausage" scene from commercials.

It seems that the advertisers did their homework — using the funniest scenes, by far, to sell the movie.

Mr. Brody is not at all pleased with Gord's decision to move home again. This spurs even more fighting between father and son. The two are complete opposites, which fuels the movie's only real humor — their fights, which usually involve broken furniture, blood and an arrival of the police. Mr. Brody's attitude is similar to that of a hostile McDonald's employee who grunts at your order and spits in your food.

Gord is more like the kid who got dropped on his head as a baby, developed an addiction to some kind of hard drug at age 11 and got abducted by aliens before he could drive. These two characters separately aren't that amusing, but together they are hysterically funny — clashing like oil and water, Pop Rocks and 7-Up, or salt, ice and a warm hand (don't try it — it burns).

Green not only starred in Freddy Got Fingered, but also directed and co-wrote the movie. He said his goal for the film was to get people to leave the theater thinking, "I've never seen that before."

And what did everyone leave the theater saying?

"I've never seen anything like that before" and "I am so glad that I didn't eat."