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Cassie Hepler is a sophomore majoring in journalism and a Collegian columnist. Her e-mail address is cmh170@psu.edu.
  The Digital Collegian - Published independently by students at Penn State
OPINIONS
[ Monday, March 26, 2001 ]

My Opinion
Online love risky, but worth it

I'm sitting on a plane slightly buzzed from a few glasses of wine. The stewardess is coming to offer drinks. I think I'll have some more.

I'm flying to Idaho of all places in the middle of a school week. Why Idaho, you might ask? Well, to meet my online love of course!

If you would have asked me months ago if I'd be flying across the United States to meet some guy I barely know, I would have laughed in your face. But love does do strange things to us all.

I met him through a classified ads site called gothicpersonals.com. I posted my ad and a black and white picture, figuring, why the hell not? It couldn't hurt. What did I have to lose? Besides there are not that many tall, skinny, long black-haired gothic boys in State College — which, by the way, is completely my type.

He responded with a simple "I think I'm what you're looking for." I thought this guy is either way too confident or he's absolutely right. So I replied. Then we chatted on ICQ every day for weeks. He was the epitome of everything I have ever wanted in a guy. Smart, funny, very attractive, older and he wants to be a mad scientist. And he felt the same. I am his princess, and he is my dark prince. Who could ask for more?

Then came the next step — the phone call. We decided to just call each other out of the blue with no preset time just to make it easier. He called the next day. We talked for hours as usual. His voice was as kind as his words and through most of the phone call, I sat there with the dumbest grin on my face. How in earth could I be falling for a man I never met?

We discussed this issue in great detail. We looked at it this way: There is no superficial attraction. You know the spark that everyone feels when they see someone they find truly desirable. We were working in reverse, learning each other's thoughts, feelings and personality first. What a concept! It is rather refreshing to date along those lines, but it seems the "dating game" has sadly changed into something far from that.

Then we began talking about visiting each other to see if this is as real as we hope. Thoughts raced through my head. What if we don't get along? What if I am dissapointed? What if he doesn't like me? Then I decided to just do it. I wouldn't want to keep asking myself "what if?" all the time. Trusting me with his credit card, he told me to go ahead and book a flight for whenever I could make it! So I did on priceline.com. I had a choice of three days — Feb. 14, 15 or 16 and the company could pick one. It picked Valentine's Day — no joke. Needless to say, this was the best present I've ever gotten!

So here I sit, typing on my computer and drinking wine to calm me down. Lord knows I want to jump up and down and tell the whole planet! One layover and then I'm there. I think he might just be the one. . .

So what happened when I got there? I never knew if guardian angels really existed, but I think I'm becoming a believer.

When I arrived through that warped tunnel connected from the plane to my gate, I saw him standing there looking as scared and nervous as I felt. My hands were trembling and my heart was thumping through my chest. We planned on giving each other a hug to break the ice when we finally met, so we did. And I did not want to let go. When we eventually did let go (and after I had a bar buddy from Idaho, who I call Mr.Margarita, take "the" picture), we clung to each other awkwardly. We kept looking at each other with large, curious eyes realizing that our cable lines just became living breathing humans. Our conversation really consisted of nothing more than dumb small talk. However, I was hanging on his every word and he mine. We must have been quite a sight to passersby.

Our schedule for the week included watching movies and eating out a lot. It didn't matter what we did. I just wanted to look at him and hear his mind speak to me. This I realized was the way it is supposed to be — you are in love with someone's mind. Granted, beauty is definitely bonus!

I know that there are thousands of miles between Idaho and Pennsylvania. But I do believe that real, true love has no boundaries and will work out in the end. And it has yet again. He is thinking of moving here in a few months. What a perfect ending to such a fairy tale!

My recommendation to you? Go out and try some online love. Since I began this incredible journey, I have heard countless people tell their tales of Internet romance. Most of the people are married now with children. Some live together and others use the Internet as a dating tool. Advising caution is necessary, however. The ongoing joke we had along with my friends was that he was an ax murdered and was going to chop me up into little pieces. But seriously, talking (or chatting) with others online who know the person help to make their story more believable.

And talking on the phone gives you an idea of who they are as well. And of course having a sense of caution always helps when you get there. Public places are good spots to meet along with having some sort of back-up plan. Mine was to stay in a hotel or my new friend, Mr. Margarita, had offered his business card to stay with him and his family just in case. The outcome is worth the adventure in my book!

I don't know if this is what scientists had in mind when they said technology will change the world, but it seems to be connecting people in more ways than than one!

 

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Updated: Monday, March 26, 2001  2:05:59 AM  -4
Requested: Thursday, July 24, 2008  8:40:21 AM  -4
Created: Wednesday, May 07, 2008  6:33:29 PM  -4