Way to go, klutzo. You've done it again. You did something so embarrassing that you just want to dig a hole and hide in it. So humiliating that you fear it would ruin your reputation, your image, your life.

We all have performed some acts in our lives that we'd rather not remember. Maybe you tripped over the sidewalk and fell on your face, or possibly had to walk around all day with mustard stains on your crotch. It has happened to all of us. But we don't have to climb into holes and hide from society. There are more rational approaches to dealing with these embarrassments — solutions that will save you from public humiliation, and leave you with your reputation and image still very well intact.

Let's say you've been up all night "studying," and the lecture about motherboards isn't exactly capturing your excitement. You're getting vee-rry sleeee-py. Suddenly, as if struck by lightning, your whole body jolts up. Everyone notices. What to do? Point at the imaginary bug scampering along the floor, and yell, "There it is!" a few times while wildly waving your arms. Problem solved.

Exhibit B. You're in the HUB, walking with your tray, equipped with chicken nuggets, french fries, a salad, a Pepsi, a fork and three packets of salt. Well, you were equipped. Your tray somehow slips out of your hands and crashes onto the floor, and everything you had just paid for is scattered all around you. Chuckles are heard from the gallery. They're not laughing with you; they're definitely laughing at you. Solution? Pick up the tray, slam it down, and exclaim that you're "fed up with being overcharged! This is ridiculous. It's an outrage! What a farce!" You never know, you may get everyone in the HUB to join you in your fight against expensive lunches.

Remember that nice day we had a few weeks ago? You went for a little jog, trying to soak up the unseasonable warmth. And in your first mile, you passed by a group of about 10 members of the opposite sex. You sped up, trying to impress them. Well, you forgot to notify your feet about the faster pace. Oops, down you went. Scraped your knees and everything. Amid many giggles, the onlookers asked if you were okay. What did you do? You ran away, hoping to save as much face as possible, right? Bad move. After you fell and garnered much attention, your next move should have been as follows: "Man, I knew I should have just stopped after 15 miles. I usually only run 12, but you know, it's a nice day and all. I guess I'm more tired than I thought." See that, stud, it's easy.

Let's look at another example. You're at the gym pumping iron, beefing up. Well, you're starting to regret the taco you ate just an hour ago. No problem, though, just one more set of ab crunches, then you're done. Uh-oh. Instead of beefing up, you're now just beefing. Very loudly, too. This is when you start grunting. Hoping that the first couple, umm, "releases" went unnoticed, you grunt through each and every muscle-burning ab crunch. One-ugh. Two-ugh. As obnoxiously loud as your vocal cords will allow. Then you bolt, hoping you didn't supply everyone else in the gym with your own aromatherapy.

Did you ever go to a sporting event and become "that guy?" You got totally lost in the moment, and as the whole arena went quiet, you yelled, "Make a lay-up, you jerk!" Looks like he wasn't the only jerk in the place. You were all of the sudden known as "the rowdy idiotic fan in Section 217." How could you have become "the cool, rowdy fanatic in the upper level?" Well, simple: You should have acted drunk. Since you pretty much just put yourself in a no-win situation anyway, all that's left is for you to yell at everything. Scream, holler, throw marshmallows, start the wave, get everyone involved. So you may get kicked out. Big deal. But the next day, instead of people talking about how much of an embarrassment you were, they'll talk about how much of a drunk you were. And you keep your hard-earned reputation.

Sometimes, though, you are indeed beyond help. After a nightlong conversation with "Laura," you refer to her as "Sarah." Or, just before your big debut in Speech Comm, you start getting really turned on. As you approach the podium, everyone else in the class realizes that your mind hasn't exactly been on your speech, but on other things. Or you wake up, and find the figure in the mirror has green, purple, and blue hair. In such cases, there is really just one cure — give up. You're hopeless, and you probably have no image or reputation of worth anyway. Just quit trying; it will all be OK.

All the solutions I have provided are sure-fire ways to remain hip in the face of adversity. But there are numerous circumstances that don't allow for a quick, witty reaction. You emerge from the rest room with your fly down. You walk into the wrong classroom. Your stomach grumblings sound like thunder.

Your voice jumps back into puberty when you're called on. You walk through a screen door. You sneeze into your hands and find yourself without any tissues. You spill your drink on yourself five minutes into the first date with the guy/girl of your dreams.

When such travesties occur, the solution is quite simple — laugh. Laugh at yourself. So it looks like you peed yourself. So what? Have a good chuckle over it. Because in actuality, it's pretty funny. Who cares, anyway? The next time you strike out in a softball game, be a man, and make fun of yourself. (Although it is pretty entertaining to watch someone go ballistic and attempt to break the metal bat over his head.)

The next time you come out of the john with toilet paper stuck to your shoe, realize the situation. Unless you can quickly find someone to give you a dollar to make it seem like a dare, you have to acknowledge the fact that you're really a dope. Suck it up, and laugh at the dope that you are.

As a great philosopher once said, "One who is able to laugh at himself will smile more." Well, not really, no philosopher ever said that, but think about it. Is it worth feeling embarrassed? You can't hide, anyway. Learn to laugh at yourself, and you will be happier. Oh, one more thing — XYZ, if you know what I mean.