When I was planning to write this column, I thought I should write about something that would appeal to the more than 40,000 hormone-infested students running around State College. With that idea in mind, what a better topic to speak on than sex?

College is a great exploratory time for many and sometimes a fearful time too. No one really knows how to go about this whole relationship thing, and that is what makes it so exciting and interesting. Relationships and their definitions get stickier when you put sex and the inherent problems that follow in the mix.

With dangerous STDs and other sex-related epidemics looming over us, it's no wonder sex has more negative connotations than positive ones. The AIDS epidemic is no laughing matter, and I am not the first to say that a cure is way overdue. But for this article, I want to set those thoughts aside and speak about sex as a functional part of a relationship, not just an irresponsible post-drinking escapade.

Those of you who had some sexual exploration in high school come to college with an upper hand.

That is, if you learned something from all that hunching on couches in dimly lit basements.

One thing is, I hear too many guys who "think" they know what they are doing. I don't blame these guys for not being sexual dynamos. I think that our culture has a lot to do with it. The sexual relationship is far too passé in our culture and it is having effects all the way to the edge of the bed. Our culture beats around the bush when it comes to sex, so information on performing sexual acts is an absolute taboo. For god's sake, former U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders was dismissed for suggesting that kids masturbate as a means of abstinence. I mean, come on, it's not like it is a new idea. She didn't even tell kids how to masturbate; she just mentioned the idea and it sent the right-wing majority into handstands.

Therein lies the problem. We can't even speak about sex, let alone share techniques. So what happens is that teenagers and adults alike, acting like some covert "secret society," share secrets and techniques. This may have provided some interesting details, but how do you know you are getting the right information? You don't. Everyone has different ways they like to be stimulated sexually. One way might not work on all people, so there cannot be one fail-safe way to do everything. Everyone is different and has different needs and wants. You have to communicate. Physically communicate.

In any type of communication, there are two inherent parts — the communicator and the receiver. The message is the action or intended idea transferred by the communicator to the receiver and the receiver then becomes the communicator and the interaction continues. This interaction works in a cyclic fashion. Sexual activity used pretty much the same type of interaction — or at least it should. The message from the guy is, "I need to get off," and for the girl, "Oh, take me, you fool." Now wait. Let's stop and think about this one.

If that past little blurb didn't sound right, you just must have a conscience. Guys, if this is your plan of attack you are going about this thing all wrong. Sex shouldn't be all about the goal. The striving for the inevitable score. If it were, wouldn't it be easier to just do it yourself? Exactly. "The whole reason it takes two to make a thing go right" is that sex is more about the interaction. So guys, if we change our message to "Hey, how does this feel?" or "Welcome to McOrgasm. How many I help you", our sex lives would be much better. This open stream of communication is incredibly essential for these types of activities. Now you are asking, how can I become a sexual dynamo? I propose to you three easy steps to making your life after midnight a little more interesting. One, if you haven't gotten it from this article already, is to communicate to your partner. As Al Jarreau would sing, "We're in this love together."

Second, you need to do your research. It basically boils down to this: You need to know how it all works and how to get it to work. The world would be a much better place if everyone just knew how human bodes worked physically. It is fairly obvious to both parties when the other doesn't know what's going on.

My third and final bit of advice: Develop a style. Yes, this is as kinky as it sounds. Everyone needs to have a style or way they feel most comfortable in these situations. No one should have to feel nervous or uncomfortable, or you both are missing the whole point. Comfort is the key idea here. You need to have a prerogative or style that allows you to be who you want to be as a lover. If you like the lights on, so be it. Hot candle wax — what color? It all comes down to personal preference and desires.

If you are in desperate need of a style I can only point you in a direction. I will share with you one secret: Prince. Listen to the man. He knows what he is talking about. He is married to an actual princess. Now that is style. So remember all you have learned here. This thing we call sex is mutual. You and your partner have the inevitable responsibility to define its place in your relationship and make it work. Making it work needs both people to be comfortable and open to engage in the process. So, to all of you, I wish you happy fornicating. Be safe, respect one another, and have fun with it, or else what is the point?