The IMS computer virus began surfacing on college campuses just a few years ago. Spreading like wildfire from desktop to desktop, it infects everyone who downloads it without them even knowing it. But unlike most viruses, IMS hurts the user and not the computer. There is no Res Com to the rescue this time.

IMS is by far the worst thing that has happened to students since they were seniors in high school and were exposed to the senioritis epidemic. For those of you who aren't familiar with the terminology, IMS stands for Instant Messenger Syndrome.

Instant Messenger is the ultimate procrastination tool used by college students, and I am just as guilty as anyone. I began feeling the effects of IMS once I moved into Beaver Hall this past summer. But enough is enough; I have sought help, and I am well on my way to a full recovery. The key to taking control of your IMS is to get past the first stage of the syndrome — denial.

So you have Instant Messenger but don't believe you have a problem? See if any of these IMS signs pertain to you:

When you leave for class, instead of making sure you don't forget to bring the homework that is due, you make sure you don't forget to change your away message.

Your idea of studying consists of an open book on your lap while you talk to people online.

Instead of referring to someone by his or her first name, you use his or her screen name instead.

You update your profile on a daily basis.

When you want to talk to your roommate, you instant message him or her.

You just can't seem to resist the urge of checking the away messages of everyone on your buddy list.

There are two other strains of the IMS virus that are even more severe, more like syndromes really. If you suffer from either of these, remove Instant Messenger from your computer immediately and save us all.

The first one I call the IMS identity crisis syndrome. Some people are totally different online than they are in person. These people will tell me their entire life stories through Instant Messenger, but if I pass them on the way to class, I am lucky to get a hello. But that isn't nearly as bad as the I am in love syndrome.

Why do some people feel the need to confess their love to a boyfriend or girlfriend through Instant Messenger? Try the phone, send a card, send an e-mail, visit them, send flowers, just choose something that won't be brought to my attention please.

If I want to instant message somebody, I shouldn't have to get an auto response that states they are madly in love with their girlfriend.

What is even worse is when they involve little pet nicknames that they have for each other: "I am at class, have a nice day. . .and I love you SHMOOKY!"

Come on, when I read stuff like that, I just want to put my head through the monitor.

If your Instant Messenger tendencies have you falling under one or more of the categories listed above, it is time to seek help. Here are a few simple things one can do to overcome IMS.

Everyone doesn't need to know where you are at all times. Next time you leave the room, don't stop and change your away message to "in the shower, leave a message." No one really cares, I hope.

If you are talking to someone who is a fellow Penn State student, try giving him a call. You only have to dial five digits.

Nobody really cares about your buddy icons either. There is no need to change them everyday.

Last but certainly not least, you must realize that it is indeed OK to sign off. Life will still go on in your absence from everyone's buddy list, I promise.