You ever get that feeling of "What if?" Of how life would be so great if only such and such would occur? Of what you would do if you had all the power in the world, and could use it any way you desired? What would you change? What would you make better, make perfect? Did you ever think of how our lives would be so much more enjoyable, if only...

The Forum weren't so damn far away. And the walk weren't all uphill, both to and from the building. Oh, and when the wind blows, could it not blow right into our faces?

If only Route 80 weren't so boring.

If only all you guys would put away those visors for a couple more months. And when you wear them, wear them correctly. Really, it's not that hard. Not backward. Not sideways. Not upside down. And no, upside down and backward do not cancel each other out. Frontward only. And the temperature must be at least 65 degrees. Visors were designed to block the sun on a nice day, not to deflect the snow in the middle of winter.

If only while we walked through campus, we wouldn't see any construction. No orange warning signs. No orange cones. No orange fences. Random thought: What would construction workers do if the color orange had never been invented?

If only we could complete one — just one — crossword puzzle in our lifetimes.

If only we could wake up when we actually intend to. Speaking of waking up, wouldn't it be great if our roommates wouldn't hit the snooze button 17 times before they finally get up?

If only the squirrels would talk to us. They're so friendly looking. They dart and frolic right in front of us. There's this one; his name's George. He runs outside of Sackett Building everyday. I wish I liked acorns. I think he's started to get offended by my continuous refusal of his food offerings.

If only that girl in class would shut up. She has an opinion on everything. An answer for everything. And she lets everyone know. Put your hand down, and quietly sit there. Thank you.

If only we could buy lunch in the HUB without spending $10.

If only we could read the paper without seeing an anti-Bush column. Give the guy a chance. He's my president, he's your president. Suck it up.

If only we could do something about those beloved parking meters. "Quarters Only." What's wrong with dimes, nickels and pennies? How's this for an ingenious idea: one cent per one minute of parking. Novel concept, eh?

If only that stinkin' groundhog would go blind or something, so he couldn't see his shadow.

If only we didn't have to read someone bashing fraternities and sororities at every opportunity. "This vacuum has more dirtbags than a frat house." So you didn't get a bid. Get over it.

If only meteorologists would be correct every once in a while.

If only there were no lines at the bars. Or, if the bouncer decides to go on an ego trip (you gotta really use your imagination for that to happen), he would provide all of us waiting a blanket to stay warm.

If only hangovers didn't exist.

If only basketball games would be played in Rec Hall again. Sure, The Bryce Jordan Center is nice. Many professional franchises would love to have a facility like that. But Penn State is not a professional franchise. Bring back the college atmosphere. Get the fans involved. Think about it, how often does the BJC sell out anyway?

If only that professor would stop picking on us. The one who's lecturing to 400 kids. And he decides to pick one lucky guy out from the crowd. And you're that lucky shmuck. "So, what's the answer?" 26. "Nope, try again." 34. "Not it." Just tell us the answer, wise guy, instead of trying to look like the all-knowing professor.

If only people with earrings all over their bodies would stop staring at me. Maybe this one's just a personal thing. I've got no problem with body piercing. But how does having nine earrings in your upper lip entitle you to glare at me? You're freaking me out.

If only athletes would refrain from thanking God after every good performance. God's a great guy. But do you think he actually cares if you hit the three-pointer at the buzzer? It's not exactly his top priority. I hope it's not, anyway.

If only people would turn off their cell phones before going into class. I know you're aware that it's on. I hear ya talkin' on the cellie. "I love you, too" when you go in. "Yo...yeah...cool...later" when you leave. Push the little button to "off."

If only all the cool guys out there would stop driving 90 mph when a stop sign is just 30 feet away.

Oh, one more "if only," then I'll be done. This one's serious. I'll set the stage for you. Saturday, Sept. 1, 2001. Beaver Stadium. A few minutes before kickoff. The Miami Hurricanes are on the field, recovering from 100,000 boos (yes, boos!) that had pelted their ears just a few minutes before.

All eyes turn to the JumboTron, where an image of a young man with a number 43 jersey lies motionless on the Ohio Stadium turf. The stadium is deafly quiet. The JumboTron shows a video of this young man in the hospital, at a press conference, making progress, taking steps. End of video.

All eyes focus to the Penn State tunnel. Out comes No. 43, Adam Taliaferro. Smiling, pointing, waving his arms, taking steps, making strides. And Miami starts 0-1.

We can't all be rich. We can't all be beautiful. We can't all love, nor can we all be loved. But maybe, just maybe, we can all be happy. If only...