The boy-toys of Seventeen are the non-conformist closet cases of the new millennium whose entire goal is to rock and have fun.

Seventeen's most recently released album, Bikini Pie Fight, exemplifies the punk genre where the ideal is that music doesn't have to be technical and proficient.

Produced and mixed by Ron St. Germain of Soundgarden and Creed, the band members wrote and performed all the songs on Bikini Pie Fight themselves.

I developed some sympathy for the group after a brief visit to City Lights Records, 316 E. College Ave. Upon talking to the store manager, Kenneth Kubala, I learned that punk music used to have more of an identity in the '70s.

Then, its main function was to open people's minds, spread social consciousness and present new ideas you might not get from the mass media. Today, however, groups like Seventeen are straying from the punk ideal. Somewhere along the way the mass media has become today's forum for social consciousness.

Enter novelty punk.

So what does Seventeen have to shout about? The album's track titles, "Porno Getaway," "Big Gay Friend" and "Mountains, Literally Mountains, of Coke" would appear to be topics from an episode of the Jerry Springer show.

Despite all this, the band maintains a serous fan base in Boston, Mass. and USA Today compares them to Blink 182 and Green Day.

The group attempts to open the eyes of its audience in a cynical, non-enthusiastic way. Perhaps they are bitter about leaving Harvard or just life in general.

To stomach the transcendental meditations of this album you will have to pity the regrets of the two Ivy-Leaguers, psychology major and hair stylist who make up Seventeen.

"Getting into the studio situation is one of the most boring things to do," said Jon Baird (guitar, vocals). His brother, Chris (bass, vocals), Jason Adams (guitar, vocals) and Tony Mellace (drummer) comprise the preppy-gone-ballistic quartet.

Most of the tracks are imaginative and in no way serious. At times I thought I was blasting off into some cosmic subconscious such as with "Captain Tito," in which Chris Baird sings, "I'm in uniform . . . budget superhero . . . no satin jackets, no pompadours. . ."

True to the essence of pop-music, the band members are equally adamant about amusing themselves and their ability to "shift gears completely" on Bikini Pie Fight. The inconsistencies throughout the compilation are comparable to an adolescent identity crisis.

"Return to Disco Mountain" is particularly amusing. For awhile the song seems totally groove worthy.

Yet, almost instantly the sound gains a heavier edge, making it a laughable narrative. "The only consistency is heavy guitars" said Chris Baird, referring to their music. Truer words were never spoken.

Overall, Bikini Pie Fight is a nursery rhyme about a lower-middle class utopia. It experiments with intonations, yelling and heaving breathing styles (i.e. "Porno Getaway"). Listeners will find themselves wondering of ways to pacify these Middle-aged whiners.

The first album, Breakfast at Tammy's, was recorded in the band's basement and perhaps Seventeen belongs there; at least until mother calls them up for dinner.