Some coaches like to talk.

Others simply ramble.

But Penn State's Joe Paterno, mired in what may be the worst season in his 35 years as the Nittany Lions' head coach, prefers to do neither.

In fact, the coach, either sickened by what he saw on the field against Minnesota Saturday or by what he heard on the phones Tuesday, chose to end his Big Ten Weekly Teleconference early.

About six minutes into his call, the moderator asked if anyone had questions. He returned his "no" answer to Big Ten assistant commissioner Sue Lister, who was supposed to ask the coach one or two more questions.

Instead, Lister received a tart "Thank you" from Paterno, and a dial tone moments later.

In all fairness to the coach, he has emphasized little else during his conferences this season than the desire to talk football.

What he got Tuesday, however, was a barrage of questions concerning finger pointing and the status of Charwan Wood formerly known as Neal Wood, on which he declined to comment.

"I don't care if they want to finger point," Paterno said, during one of his more talkative moments. "We're going to go out and see which one of these guys have the loyalty, the poise and the ability to play tough.

"Finger pointing won't be a problem because the guys who finger point had better be able to play."

Strange brew

How about this?

Preseason Big Ten favorite Wisconsin lost yet again, for the third time in as many weeks. The loss now drops them to 0-3 in the conference. This time, the culprit was Ohio State, which may have replaced the Badgers as the favorite.

That is, of course, unless Northwestern has something to say.

The Wildcats have posted resounding wins against Wisconsin, Michigan State and Indiana, averaging more than 45 points for each game.

"I don't know if we're a whole lot different than we've always been," Northwestern coach Randy Walker said. "Really, we're 75 percent of what we've always been."

Hmmm . . . Scary.

Michigan lost, too, this time to Purdue. The Boilermakers needed a field goal with four seconds remaining from shaky-legged Travis Dorsch. Depending on which angle you saw the kick from, Dorsch either raised his hands in jubilation or a la Carlton Fisk, swaying them to the right, motioning the ball to travel inside the left goalpost. You decide.

With the exception of 1997, when Michigan went undefeated, the Wolverines seem to have a quota for losses — no less than two, no more than four. Last season, the team lost two, going 10-2. Those two losses came back to back, against Michigan State and Illinois.

Don't look for them to drop another for a while, though.

"If you focus on anything other than getting better each week, and playing one game at a time, you're going to stumble," Carr said. "That's the way I see it."

T.J. Dayne?

If A plus B equals C, B plus A equals C, correct?

Michigan State sophomore T.J. Duckett is big (6-foot-1, 252 pounds), strong and he plays tailback. Former Wisconsin Heisman Trophy winner Ron Dayne is big (5-foot-10, 252 pounds), strong and played tailback.

Therefore, using the Commutative Law of Addition, we can deduce that either A.) T.J. Duckett is a mirror image of Ron Dayne, B.) T.J. Duckett will win the Heisman Trophy or C.) T.J. Duckett really shouldn't be playing for Michigan State, because it throws this law for a loophole.

Michigan State coach Bobby Williams, however, doesn't believe in the always-groggy laws of mathematics.

"This is really T.J.'s first year playing," Williams said. "He's still learning a lot about the game, about being a running back. But to compare him to Ron Dayne, who won the Heisman Trophy, wouldn't be right. Maybe somewhere down the line we can make that comparison."

Barry Alvarez, however, appreciates Commutative Law and what it represents.

"I think T.J. Duckett is outstanding, one of the best backs in the country," Alvarez said. "He reminds me some of a guy we used to have around here for a while.

"I think they're very similar. Of course, everyone wants to compare because of size. Size is misleading. They are both excellent runners who can break tackles and find holes. T.J. is as excellent a runner as Ron is."

Quote of the week

"I used to have a full head of hair before I started this season. Of course, that's not true anymore."

— Purdue coach Joe Tiller