Pennsylvania football fans, find other options.

Think about spending more Saturday afternoons with the family, or even an entire Sunday doing mundane chores. Or pick up a novel, if it gets that bad. But whatever you do, don't expect to see an abundance of quality football in the Keystone State this season.

You'll be disappointed if you do.

The triad of teams that represent this state at the professional and collegiate levels — the Nittany Lions, Philadelphia Eagles, and Pittsburgh Steelers — appear headed to the wrong end zone, if they can move the ball at all. Don't be surprised if all three end up with losing records.

Before you start whining, let me say this: I know, I know. The Eagles routed the Dallas Cowgirls 41-14 in Week 1 and took their first step toward respectability. But it's a long season and I'm not going to sprain any ankles hopping on the bandwagon. A lopsided win against an aged, injured Dallas team only tells me that the Eagles can beat a shoddy squad. Talk to me after Washington comes to town next month. And by the way, I'm from Philadelphia and grew up spending Sundays with my Dad.

But if there is a bright side to see in this state, it's in Philadelphia. A .500 season or better is certainly within reach. On the other side of the cloud, however, it's dark and gloomy in Pittsburgh, and approaching those conditions in State College.

Pittsburgh mustered no points, forced their non-existent run game a la Jerome Bettis, and had just 92 total yards after three quarters. Bad breath is more offensive than the Steelers.

And as if having a lack of talent on the field isn't enough, coach Bill Cowher continues to show his inadequacies managing quarterbacks. After benching Kordell Stewart at the end of the preseason, Cowher went to Kent — Graham, that is.

So in the fourth quarter when Graham put together the Steelers' only solid drive of the game, Cowher pulled him and called Stewart's number. Three downs later and a yard further away from the goal line, Cowher put Graham back in only to throw an incomplete pass.

Yuck.

Let's go for a little more consistency, okay Bill?

But being consistent on the football field is a touchy subject nowadays. Innovation is key in today's game, where it's tough to go a few series without seeing an elaborate screen pass or three wideouts on the weak side.

Just ask our last major Pennsylvania football team, the Nittany Lions.

After a second consecutive loss, this time to an unranked opponent at home by 18 points, the Lions looked slow and out-of-date. And maybe outspoken tailback Larry Johnson was right, is it time to mix up the playbook?

The answer to that question is another column, but if shuffling the schemes won't do the trick, Penn State must do something. In only two games, Happy Valley's cautious optimism has turned into abundant pessimism. Scoring 11 points in two games will do that to a town. Can anyone hear, "We are . . . SUBPAR"?

But once again, I'll reserve judgment until later in the season. The Lions won't need me to say they're slumping when that Big Ten schedule comes a' knockin'. Plenty of people with oversized shoulder pads, big muscles, and better routes to run will have more than a mouthful for Joe Pa and Co.

So unless the Eagles become last year's Rams and ride Duce Staley into the playoffs, expect to see more guys doing something else this fall.

But don't expect anything productive to come out of Saturday and Sunday afternoons. There are plenty of other teams to watch.