One millllllllion dollars.

I remember a time when Dr. Evil was scoffed at for thinking that was a big deal.

Nowadays, million-dollar give-away shows are multiplying faster than freshmen on the Loop.

Needless to say, I'm not a big fan of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? or any of its copycat shows that the networks are grappling to conjure up, which are even more lame because they are such blatant, unoriginal duplicates, as horrible as generic cough drops.

Lights flash, music booms and the audience gasps at ever word uttered by Regis and his nervous contestant, who he makes unnecessarily anxious by asking if "the South" is indeed the final answer to "Who lost the Civil War?" Not only are these theatrics annoying, but they place a shallow emphasis on money.

Without the melodrama, game shows such as Jeopardy are able to emphasize the knowledge and skills involved instead of putting a financial reward on a pedestal. This glorifies greed, which one Millionaire-wannabe show even adapted as its title.

If there's anything worse than a cheesy original, it's the pathetic execs at the competing networks who race to come up with a blatant imitation to fit the latest hot television format-of-the-season.

Greed goes above and beyond the flagrent sensationalism of money by encouraging players to conspire against teammates in the name of winning big bucks.

With its confusing haphazard rules and blatant imitations of format and set design, Greed is almost evil version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire? in the networks' race to air the most popular game show about money-grubbers.

My question is, why bother?

Gimmicky television shows don't often last too long atop the Nielsen ratings and their copycats and spinoffs die even faster.

As soon as a show that has a somewhat original story line or format, whether it be millionaire game shows, medical dramas or reality-based television, there is almost sure to be a deluge of poor imitators to follow.

Don't even get me started on America's Funniest Home Videos and its even more horrible spinoff, America's Funniest People (which reminds me, what ever happened to poor Dave Coulier anyway?)

And even when these have-been water cooler shows are flailing in the ratings, it seems they are always dragged on by reluctant networks who long for the glory days of the show's novelty.

It's almost as if we can see the network execs sitting in their high-back leather chairs and saying, "Quick! Let's latch onto this rare spurt of originality in television and ram more of this down viewers throats, but do it hastily and with poor quality!"

Result?

Who Wants to be a Millionaire? is on three nights a week, and shows such as Greed and Big Brother get on the air.

If viewers don't subscribe to this mindless mentality the networks think they can capitalize on, maybe it will force Hollywood to produce programs that would hold a half-way intelligent person's attention for more than two minutes.

So send a message to the networks. Turn off these wastes of airwaves and demand more creativity. It's not too late — it got rid of Funniest Home Videos, didn't it?