Dang. He loves you not.

Depending on how many petals you've got there, this could take awhile.

Alas, when it comes to the expression of sentiment through flowers, modern romance doesn't get much more cerebral than this.

The average full-bloomed modern vocabulary is limited to a flat-out yea or nay. One mishandled petal pluck and you're finished.

But floral sentiment wasn't always such an iffy affair. Floriography, the official name for the language of flowers once spoken by romantics far and wide, was practically made to order.

"Most people don't know the meanings (associated with certain flowers) anymore," said Mitch Ballas, owner of George's Floral Boutique, 482 E. College Ave. "People about 100 years ago knew them. Now it's a lost art."

Most shopkeepers can weed their way through the rose's spectrum, interpreting its basic hues: red for love, yellow for friendship and white for weddings. But that's about the extent of fluency these days, Ballas said.

Yet the classic version spanned the floral kingdom and had a vocabulary as vast as an average-sized magnetic poetry kit. Romantics of yore could build bouquets with lyrical buds ranging from "spirit" to "fickleness" to "secret love."

Imagine all the nuances possible. Ooh la la.

Indeed, the Victorians were just as excited -- possibly more so.

After all, flowers held deeply embedded religious, mythological and symbolic significance throughout history. Although it wasn't until 1819 that their meanings became an official floral dictionary.

The reference book's popularity blossomed overnight.

Finally Victorian lovers could communicate passions the modesty of the age had previously forbidden. No words were exchanged -- just posies.

The Victorians had a blossom for every sentiment. Florists filled practically every prescription.

For instance, feeling forsaken? Send an anemone with your regards.

Pining with heartache? Apply a red carnation.

Elated beyond belief? Take a dozen sweet peas and call her in the morning.

Keep in mind, though -- it's all about the presentation. Offered upright, the bouquet assumes its usual meaning. Turn them upside down, however, and you convey just the opposite.

Watch that ribbon too. Tied to the left, it refers to the giver. A bow placed gingerly to the right makes a remark on the receiver.

Of course, as with any language, there are dialects. Meanings vary from culture to culture, Ballas said.

Nuances aside, most on-campus romantics were unaware flowers carried any translation at all.

"I had no idea they meant anything," said Jeff Osmond (senior-business), skimming the list of floral vocab.

"My girlfriend doesn't like flowers. But if I had to pick based on what they mean, I'd choose the orchid."

A classy choice, as his lady surely would agree. The orchid denotes rare beauty.

But the list contains plenty of attractive choices from which to pluck.

"Phlox sounds pretty cool," Greg Lank (junior-mechanical engineering) said.

When translated, phlox declares "our hearts are wild."

"Or you could go with the one for temperance," Lank said, chuckling. "It depends who you're with."

For more Flower-to-English translations, consult Celebrating With Flowers by Jane Packer or various florist sites planted on the World Wide Web.