First, let me set the record straight. I am not piercing myself every week because others will think it's cool, as some have thought. I am jamming pieces of metal into myself for you. Think of this as your guide to piercing.

So, without further ado, let's move on to week two of "James' Adventures in Piercing."

The Eyebrow

My tongue is still attached so it seems week one was a rousing success. And as I said in week one, I'm taking e-mail advice to see what I should get pierced next. But I'm not getting too many -- so I'm doing what I want.

That's why week two is the eyebrow. It's quick, it's kind of stylish, and most importantly, it isn't my nipple. I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment yet.

At Exotic Zombie body piercing, 225 W. Beaver Ave., an eyebrow piercing with the jewelry will run you $30, while at Art of the Ages Inc., 103 S. Pugh St., it costs $35.

But this week I decided to go to Green Top, 318 E. College Ave., to get my metal injection. I paid a hefty $54, plus tax, of course.

The usual eyebrow piercing is done with a ring, which costs $41 at Green Top, but I got the always-fashionable barbell, which raised the price by 13 bucks. The barbell is 16 gauge, one-fourth inch long and has a slight curve to it. The gauge is smaller than my 10-gauge tongue barbell because it's unusual to see such a large eyebrow barbell.

At first, the process was just like the tongue. Again there were two dots drawn to make sure it was straight. Then that gynecological clamp came out again, but this one was much smaller.

From there everything changed. When the clamp came down I could tell there was something different: pain. This wasn't taking-a-foul-ball-in-the-crotch kind of pain, but it hurt. And it made me ask myself some questions.

Do I really want to go through with this? Does anyone even read the column? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

But before I could answer any of these questions, I felt another twinge of pain and it was done. Another reason to watch out for metal detectors, I guess.

Unlike the tongue, the eyebrow is hard to care for. While the tongue is completely healed after about a week, the eyebrow takes about six to eight months. Also, aftercare for the eyebrow is a pain.

For the tongue all you have to do is wash your mouth with Listerine, but you have to clean an eyebrow piercing with Bacitracin triple antibiotic twice a day for about three days. Then you should wash it with Bactine or a salt-water solution for as long as you continue to wear it.

Screw that -- I don't have time.

Another problem with the eyebrow is it gets in the way a lot. Every time I put a shirt on I have to make sure the piercing doesn't get caught. And every once in a while I see a piece of metal out of the corner of my eye, which is a shock at first.

But I do have to say this adventure was a success. At the moment there's no infection and I can still see, so that's a plus.

But what should I get pierced next week? It looks like you people want me to get my nipple pierced, but will I? I think I should keep you in suspense. But if you see me on campus I guess the cat's out of the bag.