But today if you have an earring it's no big deal, especially when people are putting pieces of metal in their foreheads, for Pete's sake. But this piercing trend doesn't seem to be letting up. So, like any red-blooded American, I decided to follow the crowd and get something pierced.

I give you "James' Adventures in Piercing."

Apparently, the tongue piercing is one of the most popular types of piercing today. Men and women are lining up to get pieces of metal jammed into their tongues, and paying a premium price for it.

Of the three places in town to get pierced, Art of the Ages Inc., 103 S. Pugh St., is the cheapest, with prices starting at $55 plus tax for the smallest size barbell. Although Green Top, 318 E. College Ave., only charges $35 for the piercing, it tacks on $21.99 for the standard jewelry.

I decided to go to Exotic Zombie body piercing, located inside Totem Tattoo, 225 W. Beaver Ave., to be impaled. I paid a little extra -- $60 -- but I was ensured the extra cost was because they only use new jewelry, which comes clinically sealed. Green Top follows the same policy, using only new jewelry. Art of the Ages buys back old piercings and reuses them after a thorough cleaning and sterilization.

But wait a minute. Do I really want to have a piece of metal stuck in my tongue? Is it really worth it for what will probably be a passing fad?

Most importantly -- what do girls think?

My informal survey of one girl led me to believe ladies think a guy with his tongue pierced is sexy.

Good enough. Where do I put my tongue?

The whole piercing process actually was pretty quick. The longest part of the process was the setup. First I had two dots drawn on my tongue to make sure that's where I wanted the piercing. If it were crooked, I'd look like a freak with a crooked piece of metal in my tongue.

Then I had to stick out my tongue as far as possible so it could be clamped down. This clamp looks like a medieval torture device, or something used in a gynecological exam, and it holds the tongue in place so the piercing is straight.

Once you're clamped down, the piercing itself probably takes about 10 seconds. If you have some second thoughts at this time, it's too late.

Now, I know you're all asking yourself, "Great, but how much does it hurt?"

Well, for me it wasn't that bad. It was so quick I really didn't feel any pain. According to the after-care sheet Art of the Ages gave me, it shouldn't hurt for anyone.

"There are no nerves down the center of the tongue," the almighty sheet explains. "Therefore, the tongue piercing does NOT hurt."

I have to agree -- it's uncomfortable but not painful. For a few days my tongue was swollen and it was hard to talk and eat. I suggest eating a large meal before you get the piercing because it took me about an hour to eat a bowl of ravioli the next day. But these are the sacrifices I make to bring you top-quality piercing news.

The standard jewelry is a 14-gauge stainless-steel barbell that's seven-ninths of an inch long. Gauge is a measure of the thickness of the barbell; smaller numbers mean increased thickness. You'll probably want to get a smaller length after a couple of weeks, because the seven-ninths inch can get a little annoying -- it's always getting in the way.

But the size of the gauge is totally up to you. Since my original piercing, I've moved up to a 10-gauge barbell that's five-eighths of an inch long. And you know what they say about guys with big piercings.

All in all I'd say I'm happy with the piercing, and hey, the chicks dig it, so it was obviously worth it. So what's next? Well, I don't know -- why don't you e-mail me at jpc167@psu.edu with your suggestions. I'm thinking eyebrow, but I guess it really depends on what girls find sexy. But let's try to stay away from the really freaky stuff … for now.