Break out a buzzer for a round of Penn State 'JEOPARDY!'

The categories are: Organization Association (think of the first word or phrase that comes to mind when you hear the name of a student organization); Used Goods; Money!Moni!Monié!; It Comes with the Territory; and Sicker Than You.

I'll take Money!Moni!Monié! for $200.

Answer: $5, if you're lucky.

What is the amount of money you'll receive from selling back a $45 textbook?

Let's try Organization Association for $100.

Answer is: USG.

What is apathy? "USWho?," "Powerless?" and "I really don't care?" will also suffice. Oh, I'm sorry, I don't dare mean to suggest that Undergraduate Student Government is invisible, unrecognized and ineffective.

Go out and vote today! Power to the people and all that.

How about Sicker Than You for $400.

Answer: It is the most commonly diagnosed disease at Ritenour.

Also another trick question, because depending on the season and the fine staff member who assists you, you could have any variety of illnesses. Be it mono, strep throat or a sinus infection, you can be sure that: a) The "Psychic Friends Network" can give you a more reliable diagnosis; b) The illness has either cleared up considerably or has landed you in the hospital in the three days you waited to get an appointment; and/or c) Your illness is considered highly contagious to the entire student body if you go anywhere except your room to breathe.

Give me Used Goods for $300.

Answer: 8-Ball says "very likely."

What is the chance that you will meet someone who has a sorted history with a friend or acquaintance? Let me break it down for you: Male or female, attached or unattached, the chances are pretty good that you will encounter or have encountered "used goods," or, to put it another way, you are recycling one of your friends biodegradables. It isn't such a small world after all.

I'll take It Comes with the Territory for $500.

Answer: For a college student, this can be most hazardous to your health.

Contrary to what University President Graham Spanier may believe, the answer is not alcohol or any other drug. Instead, the correct response is: What is inhaling dust and fumes from construction around campus?

Final JEOPARDY! category is: Welcome to Our World

Place your wagers.

The answer is: Eight, nine, 10 and maybe more.

Do do do dodo do do da da do. Or something like that.

What is the number of semesters it takes to graduate from Penn State?

See, you're smarter than Alex Trebek gave you credit for.

And while we're on the topic of converting existing game shows to accommodate the Penn State student population, how about changing "Supermarket Sweep" to "End of the Semester Meal Card Sweep"? Now, thanks to the miracle of modern technology, the fine art of finding exactly what you can buy for the $2.43 left on your meal card can be televised.

And here's another classic: Instead of "Win Ben Stein's Money," the show can be called "Win Lisa Borello's Money" or "Win XYZ Student's Money." Of course, I don't know how entertaining it is to watch students endlessly losing all their money to the University. The Bursar's office seems to think it's pretty humorous, though.

So many more to choose from. I could just go on and on. We can create an entire channel: 24 hours of PSU game shows. Fun for the whole family. Now, I know what you must be thinking: Either this girl is a genius and we'll be seeing her on the next cover of Fortune, or she has a little too much time on her hands.

Maybe it's a little bit of both. I think you're just jealous you didn't think of it first.