Talk show addicts, material found even in Happy Valley

So, yes, in an institution of higher learning, I am letting my mind be eroded with all the far-from educational programming I can get my hands on. I get up in the morning with the hopes that a "Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful" or "I Let My Lover Have Affairs While I Was Pregnant" show will be on.

It's not to say I have no other interests besides what plastic/leather concoction Jenny Jones is going to come up with next for the "My Teen is Obsessed with Marilyn Manson" makeover show.

I happen to like my mindless entertainment. I understand that talk shows get those advertising dollars at the expense of the guests and definitely because of our insatiable need, as viewers, to be entertained.

If I'm learning anything, I'm learning how I don't want to be or to act when I grow up.

And as outrageous as some shows can get, as much as it appears that the production people have done everything in their power to get a rise out of the guests and audience, the reality behind them is scary. It could be you. It could be me. (Why didn't you return my calls, Richard?) The fact of the matter is that any number of Penn State issues or hot topics of the moment could be the subject of the show.

Take for instance, the issue of some student-athletes claiming they should be monetarily compensated. Yes, the topic has been beaten to death, but take student-athletes and say, out-of-state, full tuition-paying students, like myself, and put them in a studio with a camera. Oh, the chairs would be a-flying.

Professors smoking marijuana, "Operation Lucky Charm" -- there's two shows right there. We have daily talk show material outside Willard Building every day. I doubt even Springer's security could control the outbursts that would erupt if you put any volatile campus group on-air.

Life isn't so perfect here in Happy Valley, so a "too good for this" or "we're better than that" attitude is hardly fair. We are not so different from talk show guests. And just because the actions and beliefs of some of these guests may come into conflict with our own, it doesn't necessarily mean they are wrong and we are right.

Now, I wouldn't exactly tell the world my deepest, darkest secrets or have my crush from afar brought on the show, but you have to give these people props. They air their dirty laundry on national television, and the rest of us eat it up like dining commons leftovers.

It must be oddly therapeutic to share your tale of woe to a nation of attentive listeners. And it definitely must take a lot of guts to open yourself up to the kind of criticism they receive. But then again, it's not exactly as if they lose out on the deal. We get entertained or disgusted or maybe illuminated with some kind of knowledge we never had before. They, in turn, get an all-expense-paid trip to Chicago or New York and usually some other bonus goods depending on the topic and how generous the host feels like being.

This all brings me to a "Final Thought," a la Jerry Springer. It's a sick, sad world and talk shows are but the debris of all the garbage we produce. Maybe talk shows are a small example of our need for a quick fix, the belief that all of our problems can be solved in one hour.

Maybe we should start to question what's missing in our lives that makes us infatuated with these shows. And then again, maybe these shows should just be taken at face value.

Juvenile? Sure. Colossal waste of time? Maybe. Educational? Stretching it. Entertaining? Absolutely.