Way we find value in ourselves worth closer examination

Why should food be such a big deal? Why should people wind up feeling virtually enslaved to how much or how little they eat? Why should everything in their lives revolve around it? It makes no sense unless we realize that eating disorders are not about food. The problem goes a lot deeper than that.

I don't say this because I am an expert on these matters; I'm not. My understanding has come from friends and acquaintances who have been willing to tell me about their struggles in this area. They have consistently told me that the problem is not with food, but with their view of themselves.

People with eating disorders don't like themselves. They feel "different" and don't measure up to some standard. We've all struggled with this to some degree. But for some people, this dominates their entire lives.

A friend of mine, I'll call him James, once struggled with anorexia. During this time, his extra weight was the focus of everything he did: "My major source of happiness came from feeling thin and becoming thinner. I was completely self-absorbed."

In reality, the "solution" of working on our self-esteem often does more to perpetuate the problem. It still keeps us looking at our outward qualities and depending on others liking us. It doesn't go deep enough. The patronizing attitude seems to be something like this: "You're still a very special person." We might as well finish the sentence off by saying, "despite the fact that you're fat." Are we doing them a favor?

If that is our attitude, then we've got it all wrong.

There is no value in either being thin or fat. You too have a disorder if you feel better about yourself because you are thin and considered beautiful.

But much of the modern psychology that is out there doesn't help either, but is just as misleading. This quote is from a handout I came across to "Help You Make Peace With Your Body": "Your image is not what you are or how you look, but how you are perceived. Your image should be a projection of positive qualities. Play up your strong points (they don't have to be physical) and soft-pedal the not-so-strong ones." Maybe you agree that our value should not be found in something so fickle as physical appearance. But should we follow the advice to find our worth in other things, like our personality?

We're told that our worth can be found in our "image." This sounds good. It's not as fickle as our physical appearance. It's more democratic -- anyone can attain popularity if people just look at the inside! But if we put our worth in our personality, there are still always going to be people who dislike us for being us. Are we going to make our criteria for being liked depend on such superficial things? Are we willing to subject ourselves to that?

The personality alternative simply doesn't work. But without our physical appearance and our personalities, we have a huge void. If these things can't make people value me, then what will?

How about our humanity? Then we can say, "I'm a human, and that person is also a human; therefore I will treat them as I would want to be treated." We all need to realize that everyone has worth, and that their worth is the basis for treating them with love and respect. Still, this sounds very vague. So consider for a moment the possibility that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" by God. Then He made us exactly the way He wanted us, inside and out. You are not a mistake or a freak.

It has been said that worth is determined by the price paid for it. If the son of God did come down to die on your behalf, then you are of infinite value.

Kind of puts our physical concerns in perspective, doesn't it?