Science of falling in love

Love and lasting relationships -- some people think these life-changing happenings are determined by fate and chance.

But falling in love and choosing a mate are not random occurrences, said Bob Burgess, professor of human development, who teaches Human Development and Family Studies 418 (Family Relationships). Burgess said mating preferences have developed from ancient cultures.

Preferences impact the way men and women fall in love, Burgess said.

The intense feeling labeled as "love" is actually a chemical reaction, Burgess said. This feeling generally lasts anywhere from 18 months to three years, he said.

"This intense . . . state we call 'being in love' has a limited life span," he said.

Natural amphetamines produce the intensity of emotion, which are evident in the first months of a relationship, but like any high, they wear off, Burgess said.

"This chemical process eventually slows down," he said, "You can't be high all the time."

Yet, there is hope for long-term relationships, Burgess said.

After about three years, endorphins, another chemical, kick in and create a calmness in the relationship, which will evolve to companionship.

"It's less dramatic, but it also lasts a lot longer," he said.

Feelings involving love vary from person to person, Burgess said, adding that some people remain intensely in love their entire lives and others never fall in love.

Students said being in love is almost unexplainable.

"You get that rumble in your stomach, that lump in your throat -- you just know," Jeff Samson (junior-advertising) said.

When she first fell in love, Megan Heaps (junior-secondary education) said she did act a little silly, but love has not changed her actions.

"It kind of just gives you a boost of self-esteem," she said.

Another topic considered in relationship research is the idea that men will fall in love much quicker than women.

According to research, women need more time to assess the social standing of men and must also consider the consequences of sexual relationships; thus, women may take longer to fall in love than men, Burgess said.

This is one theory, Dan Tobal (junior-advertising) said he agreed with it.

"The guys fall a lot quicker and a lot sooner," he said.

However, he added that forming a relationship has its benefits.

"The person you love is your best friend," Tobal said.