Love turns to abuse for some

Valentine's Day may be here again, but not all relationships involve hearts, flowers and candy.

Some involve abuse.

Relationship abuse occurs when an individual uses power over another person to make that person feel or do things that they do not want to, said Linda LaSalle, assistant director for the Center for Women Students.

Although there are no statistics or data for University Park, abusive relationships are occurring here, LaSalle added.

"Students are less likely to seek help," LaSalle said. "One reason is simply not knowing the available resources."

Educational programs and counseling are available through the Center for Women Students, she said.

In addition, counseling is available through the University's Center for Counseling and Psychological Services, said Mary Anne Knapp, clinical social worker for the center.

Knapp said certain signals warn of abuse, including jealousy, possessiveness, substance abuse and a history of violence.

But on college campuses, the incidence of emotional abuse is much higher than other types of abuse, LaSalle said.

"Victims have to realize they are not isolated and that these incidents happen to others, even though they are not right," she said.

Emotional abuse can often begin with verbal abuse.

"If the person makes you feel . . . that you don't have much to offer others or that no one else would want you -- that's abuse," Knapp said.

Abusive relationships can be precursors to rape, LaSalle said.

"We must be aware and realize that sexual assault is correlated with this type of abusive behavior -- 80 percent of assault victims know their assailant," LaSalle said.

For people in abusive relationships, friends can be an important source of help, Knapp said.

"I think when people want to help a friend or even themselves it's important to connect their worth," Knapp said.

Friends should try to understand the victim's fear and be supportive, LaSalle said.

"Learn to share the information and let them know that violence does happen," LaSalle said.

Also, friends should be persistent if the abusive relationship continues, Knapp said. It is also important to avoid placing blame or being judgmental, she added.

"Sometimes it can take a while for someone to leave (an abusive relationship)," Knapp said.