Waiting to wed: Pressure to marry won't put career on hold

We thought it was destined not to change.

So, in the course of our catch-up-after-not-seeing-each-other-for-two-years conversation, we inquired about each other's life. We asked each other about whether or not the other was getting "good" grades, whether we partied ever or not at all, whether we were involved in any activities at our respective campuses.

Then, she told me something that put me in complete shock. She was engaged to be married this year!

My mother had told me rumors about the alleged engagement about a month or so before, but for some reason I didn't believe her. But it was true.

She was no longer one of the guys. She was now marrying one of them.

My 19-year-old good friend was getting married.

MARRIED!

Really, I shouldn't be surprised because it's so common where I come from. My cousin was married when she was 19, and many of my classmates got hitched straight out of high school. Another one of my good friends got married after her first year of college.

AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Everyone feels required to be seriously dating, engaged or "promised" to someone. Each time I go home I see it -- the ones who are beaming in the center of the crowds of my old friends are always those friends who have a diamond on their left hands.

It's a huge burden to bear, especially as a woman in today's society. You go away to college, and your parents, family and family friends all assume that you have to meet that certain someone by the time you graduate. (If that's true, I have about a year and a half to fall in love -- talk about pressure.)

Needless to say, because I haven't had the college experience they'd like me to have, I am somewhat a disappointment, though not a surprise, to the folks at home. I honestly don't want to get married anytime soon, but the pressure I still feel is too great. In fact, a good portion of my friends are growing up, getting jobs, starting families and here I am at college, regressing back into any youth and shirking the "real world" for as long as possible.

I like the way my life is right now. It's relatively simple, and that's cool with me. But I, and many other acquaintances, am still feeling the pressure of not being engaged or married . . . or for some, in a couple.

And the pressure often comes from our families. Almost every time I talk to my mother, she talks about grandchildren . . . about other women her age having them or about wanting them.

(It may not be every time I talk to her that she brings this up, but it's been happening quite frequently lately.)

I always answer her with: "You better count on Beth (my 16-year-old sister) for that, because I'm not going to be giving you any of those for a while." My mom laughs.

I say, "No, I'm serious."

Of course I want children someday -- I love them -- but I have other things, such as a career, to take care of first.

And as for my friends, who have beaten me in the game of marriage, I'm excessively happy and excited for all of them. I mean, they've found someone special, who they want to spend their lives with, and that makes me glad for them.

As for me?

Yeah, marriage and a family are institutions that I would like to enter someday . . . I just want to find myself before I succumb to the pressure of finding someone else.