Freshman overcomes social, academic challenges of college

The thing about being a freshman is that the last four months were the most crucial part of my life. What I do now determines my entire future. At Penn State, I have to sink or swim.

I chose the latter, and I will not let anything stop me from fulfilling my goals. 1998 will be the start of something more than just a new year for me.

As the clock ticked down the final seconds of the year past and the legendary ball descended into Times Square, I was metamorphosing. Rewinding into 1997, I can remember my graduation from high school and my entrance into college. That year has become more than just that. I started to transition from adolescence to adulthood right in front of my own eyes. Being on my own has allowed me to grow. But it wasn't easy.

Through perseverance, dedication and hard work, I was able to have the time of my life last semester while doing well academically and even taking a moment out for myself to listen to the Willard Preacher. After overcoming the almost insurmountable adversity of the first semester, I think that I can handle anything.

Sure, I have my battle wounds from this semester. While experiencing Penn State for the first time, I paid some steep prices: stress, aggravation and the start of the dreaded, yet inescapable, freshman 15. But, all that matters is that I made it.

I made it through my professors assignments, papers and exams. I prevailed when they threw final exams in my direction. I overcame the isolation of arriving alone and uncertain without a friend like the ones I had back home. I exceeded my parents' high expectations, and I know that I have made them proud.

I endured poor football seats, scheduling last for Spring Semester and cold, bitter walks through Parking Lot 80.

I faced true academic stress and deadlines for the first time. I went above and beyond my personal limits.

Looking back, I get a sense of accomplishment, a sense of pride. It was all worth it. I'm proud of myself because I know that I honestly did the best that I could. Sure, I didn't get a 4.0 or anything like that, but that's not the point.

This zoo eats up and spits out many freshmen just like myself. I'm just grateful to be back for another semester to do it all again.

I'd have to say that what makes it so difficult to get through is that no one is looking out for you. For instance, the curve, a fairly new grading system to me, puts me in severe competition with all 300 hundred classmates in the huge, hallowed lecture halls of the Forum Building.

No longer am I battling professors' tests, but rather my colleagues. Probably one of the most difficult things that I have had to accept is that I am no one special. I'm just a number among thousands of bright students. How can they help me when they also have to survive and help themselves?

Most important, though, is the fact that I'm all alone. The only person I can rely upon is myself. No longer are my parents here to tell me to do my homework or wake me up for an 8 a.m. class, one that I missed a few times without their enforcement.

The burden rests upon my shoulders and my shoulders alone. I've been a life-long procrastinator. With all of the parties, and even E-mail, it is so easy to lose focus and all sense of direction. Without parents around, I was forced to mature and take care of business.

I think I have. I made it, and I now can call this island of chaos my home. It's where I belong. I just have to take it day by day, and I will survive and escape with diploma in hand.