Student writers' creativity stalled

There's something about a pitcher of beer that brings out the poet in all of us. With a pen as the brush and a stall as the canvas, graffiti artists are exorcising their creative license in bars around town.

Thanks to budding Shakespeares and Hemingways of Penn State, bathroom graffiti provides as much enjoyment as Pantene and as much raunch as Playboy.

As each watering hole has its own unique personality, so does its graffiti.

The subjects covered are as widespread as any shelf of Pattee. From the ubiquitous ode to a Grecian bar tour to verses by ancient Chinese poets to Bible revelations, graffiti offers enlightenment, inspiration and much entertainment. What follows are some of the highlights of State College bar bathroom graffiti.

If the lure of half-price pitchers overruled an 8 a.m. religious studies class, theology can still be part of your life when visiting the men's room at Zeno's, 100 W. College Ave.

After what can only be assumed to have been more than a few drinks, a devout patron felt the need to spread the word of God in a way he knew would reach the eyes of each and every man in the bar -- by writing "Jesus is the Light and Truth -- John 14:6, John 8:31-2" by the soap dispenser.

But, for fear of misinformation being spread, a kindly patron corrected the quote by pointing out that it was the wrong scripture, following with:

"Get your scriptures straight, you fundamentalist asshole."

What a good Christian.

"My favorite was one that said 'The Revolution Will Not Be Televised' written in a football," Jherime Kellermann (senior-anthropology and psychology) said. "But I don't know which one was there first, the words or the football."

Although Zeno's is the best choice for boning up on the J.R.R. Tolkien passages and Donna Summer songs, the Rathskeller All American, 108 S. Pugh St., serves words to live by along with cases of Rolling Rock.

Braving odd stares from trough-users, men can find the pearls of wisdom "The Girl Hurled, But I'd Still Do Her."

But the bar most famous for self expression is The Phyrst, 111 E. Beaver Ave. The bar may be the only establishment in State College where the bartenders aid and abet modern-day Michaelangelos.

"We don't encourage it, but people see the graffiti and ask for chalk," Michael Stein, bartender at The Phyrst, said. "Some people do artistic things. I kind of like the paintings."

Other bar proprietors aren't as forgiving, seeing graffiti as defacement rather than artistic expression.

The Gingerbread Man, 130 Hiester St., provides Comet and a scrub brush for those whose may abandon better judgment.

"We make them clean it up," Assistant Manager Gene Maley said. "We have all sorts of cleaning products we give to customers."

But the prevailing attitude of many bartenders is a "don't ask, don't tell" approach.

"We pretty much don't have a policy," said Scott "Shooter" Sheader, manager of the Brewery, 233 E. Beaver Ave. "If we don't see you do it, it's OK."