Save precious spring break money -- astral travel

This column is loosely based on astral travel as practiced by Buddhist monks in the lamaseries of Tibet, but should not be considered an accurate account of the actual practice of astral travel.

And I am running out of wild explanations for inquisitive people after having used up the following: I am so much behind on my work that I am in danger of being fired; I have exhausted all sources of money (including once-pitying friends who are now shamelessly demanding back dough I borrowed last year); traveling is against my religion and is looked down upon in my country India where, until a century ago, going abroad or crossing the seven seas was a social taboo.

I think its time I come out in the open and disclose the real reason for staying back, even at the risk of being labeled crazy by my crazier scientific-minded friends, some of whom even play the game of pool as if they were solving differential equations in physics.

This spring break, I have made up my mind to practice a very ancient but now all but forgotten sport -- astral traveling.

Astral traveling has its origins in the tiny nation of Tibet, which is located to the north of India and is now a part of western China.

In its original form, it was a spiritual practice in lamaseries (or monasteries) by which adept lamas (monks) could travel around the world at will, a luxury very few in this poor, land-locked country could afford.

What exactly is astral travel?

It's a form of out-of-body experience. But whereas most out-of-body experiences are either involuntary or caused by hallucinogens, astral traveling can be done at will and requires a lot of discipline and hard practice.

Why astral traveling?

Well, it's cheaper than that $500 round-trip discount ticket to the Bahamas (in fact, it doesn't cost anything at all).

And, most importantly, it can be the solution to a lot of problems plaguing this country and mankind in general.

How does one astral travel?

Almost everybody astral travels when dreaming, but doesn't remember any of it upon waking up.

It's doing it consciously which is tricky.

I will try explaining it to you in a few lines, although whole books have been written about it.

You need a quiet room with a comfortable couch or bed to rest upon. You should be alone in the room.

You lay yourself on the bed, close your eyes and take deep breaths until you feel totally relaxed and light.

It is important that you don't go to sleep at this point. Now ease yourself out of your body so that "you" are floating an inch or so above it.

If you can attain this stage, the rest is very easy and you can will yourself to go anywhere, at any speed, through concrete walls, steel doors or Rocky Mountains.

It's the "easing out of the body" part which is the most difficult and takes some kind of training and a lot of practice to achieve.

Why doesn't everyone practice this and use it for their gain? As I told you, it requires a level of mental discipline most are not accustomed to.

Also, you will never succeed at astral traveling if you have a bad purpose or profit-making intent behind it. It requires a correct attitude of mind which can perhaps be explained by the Buddhist term "right-mindfulness."

Imagine where will this country be if astral travel is taken up as a national sport.

Airplane and road accidents will go down because people will no longer need any mode of transportation.

Relations with other countries will improve on account of most citizens having traveled around the world and learned about other cultures. These are just a few of the benefits.

Moreover, think about the money you are going to save by astral traveling.

Now you know why I am staying back during the spring break. The ten days of uninterrupted quiet will be a great chance for me to practice this great sport.

And who knows -- I might just succeed at astral traveling.

If you are interested in astral travel, try reading Lobsang Rampa's Saffron Robe for a better idea of what I am talking about.