Once upon a time

Students need to turn housing nightmare into tale of triumph

It's the same old story that we've been hearing for years.

Once upon a time, in a land right across College Avenue, there were some angry neighbors and some unfriendly State College Borough Council members.

The neighbors and elected officials began talking about curbing student housing in their university town. "If we restrict the students enough, we can rule the land," the neighbors and council members realized.

So they started devising all sorts of legislative maneuvers -- some that were legal, some that no one in the land could believe they actually concocted -- to conquer the evil students. They devised three-unrelated-persons occupancy limits, permit plans, ratio plans and lots of other confusing, anti-student plans that no one really understood.

And just when it seemed the angry neighbors were going to conquer the students once and for all, a knight in shining armor came to the rescue -- the Undergraduate Student Government. (That may sound like a fairy tale, but it's 100 percent true.)

USG argued and pleaded, reasoned and compromised, and roared as loud as the loudest dragon in the land.

And as a result, our heroic knight won many battles. Though some blatantly anti-student proposals still remain, others have been defeated soundly.

Once, the knight even led more than a hundred students to pack a planning commission meeting.

But our valiant knight cannot do it all, for the enemy's sword is always drawn and always sharp. Once again, the help of the students is needed.

It seems that our tale now takes us to something called the "student home zoning ordinance" and something called the "townhouse occupancy rule zoning ordinance."

These creatures would limit the growth of student housing in the land through such means as controlling the number of homes that could be converted to student rentals and redefining the "family clause" in a very anti-student way.

But with your help, the knight can win the battle, and perhaps end the fighting once and for all, making the land a place where students can live happily ever after.

Voice your concerns about the borough's continued anti-student stance.

Call USG at 863-1USG and offer your support, or attend the next borough council work session at 7 tonight in the Municipal Building, 118 S. Fraser St.