Lesbian parents raise children despite controversial approach

By MOLLY K. FELLIN
Collegian Staff Writer

In the past few years, a "gayby boom" has swept the nation.

With high-profile personalities such as singer Melissa Etheridge and her same-sex partner announcing the impending births of children, more and more lesbians have been realizing the possibility of having children does exist, said Mary McClanahan, staff psychologist at the Center for Counseling and Psychological Services.

"A few years ago, people felt if they came out they were forfeiting the possibility of being a parent," she said. "The biggest difference in the past four to five years is they have been realizing that it's much more of an option for them."

Women are typically the primary care-givers for their children. But when two women live together as partners and raise a child, some controversy can arise.

Susan Byrne, political co-director for the Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Student Alliance, said there is a particular challenge for same-sex partners who decide to become parents.

"When your kids come home and don't understand why they have two moms -- that can be really difficult for them," she said.

Many gay people often feel they should not be parents because they fear the social repercussions their children might face, McClanahan said.

"More lesbian couples feel their children would have trouble finding friends," she said. "There might be hostility and rejection, and sometimes, the children might feel confused about their own sexual orientation."

Byrne expressed concern for the future if she decides to become a parent.

"It's like anything else, people can get upset -- they think that we're breeding queer children. But children are what they are," she said. "What I have to say to them is that we had straight parents."

Byrne believes that as long as a person is a good parent, his or her sexual orientation should not matter.

"Motherhood in general is not really easy," she said. "(Being a lesbian and a mother) just adds another facet to it."

Prudence Johnson, adviser for Student Parents of Penn State, said being a single parent and a student at the same time is an overwhelming experience. Student parents have many issues to deal with outside the classroom, she said.

"As a student parent, you have things you cannot possibly schedule," she said. "Problems happen day in and day out -- the only time they have for studies is during the day. Once they get home, they have to help (their children)."

Support networks are necessary for student parents no matter what their sexual orientation, she said.

"Every one of them needs support from their own parents and other student parents -- no matter if they're gay, lesbian, bisexual," Johnson added.

McClanahan said support from others is helpful for all gay people, particularly when it comes to having children. The increasing visibility of lesbian and gay couples who are opting to have children also helps, she added.

"When you have that enhanced visibility, it tends to work for the greater good," she said. "The ingenuity and creativity in the lesbian community with respect to having children has been amazing in the past few years."