USG debate yields answers not insults
Debate virgin tackles HUB Club

By JASON CHERKIS
Collegian Staff Writer

There is nothing cool about the HUB. Its flattened Howard Johnson's architecture lets us in on the big joke. Its massive structure holds cheap, greasy eats and a cheap, greasy Undergraduate Student Government office. And in between you have constant, paralyzing swarms of hungry pack rats who make butting in line an art form.

It's no surprise that USG would hold its last presidental debate at HUB Hell central --the Fishbowl. It's not that I don't just hate the HUB, I must admit student politics have always been a bore. I've had my share of Taco Bell promises, restructuring wet dreams and Kampia cannabis. Why should I and other students bother?

For Gregory Pohorilenko (junior-exercise and sports science), the imminent debate is news to him. Studying along the outer rim of the Fishbowl, he admits USG is something foreign to him.

"USG -- what does that stand for," he asks honestly. "United States Government? Off the top of my head, a quick one, I don't know."

I can relate.

It's 15 minutes before the debate and I already feel like I don't belong. Members of vice president-candidate Kerith Strano's sorority have stolen my seat. One of them offers, "I have to sit up front and be obnoxious." They're dressed up and they are obnoxious, so I scuttle to another seat.

"(Dressing up) seems nice," explains Kristin German (sophomore-human development and family studies), oozing confidence and make-up. "There's no reason to come in here looking like slobs."

Indeed, the outset of the debate between candidates Corey O'Brien/Kara Annechini and Josh Bokee/Kerith Strano resemble something between a beauty pageant and fraternity combine. It was O'Brien's beige Brooks Brothers vs. Bokee's navy blue Bar Mitzvah suit. Watching O'Brien and Annechini, I continue to wonder if they smeared vaseline on their teeth. Watching Bokee and Strano, I try to figure out who would make the better kindergarten teacher.

Barriers are clearly drawn along class and social lines with O'Brien playing the rich, chart-popping bully to Bokee's simple, understated easy speak. And each team's supporters belied the vibe.

Of course, with maximum style, there's minimal substance. Both parties dispense lots o' rhetoric. O'Brien offers, "Start bonding with the communication link." Bokee announces he wants to, "restore your future, your hope." The irony is that for their earnestness, they are speaking to the converted.

The whole evening has an air of futility. Richard Thomas (senior-rehabilitation services education) says he just popped in on a whim. During the break to collect audience questions, he concedes these debates are useless.

"(The debate) is kind of cat fight-like, petty bullshit," Thomas says.

As the debate comes to a quick close, Thomas grows enraged enough to show his discontent. Thomas springs forth and screams at the participants insisting he and other students should be allowed to ask unscreened questions. As he approaches the tables, current USG president Mike King fittingly plays fraternity bouncer while O'Brien, obviously scared, quickly cleans up his materials.

Thomas finally leaves but not before hollering: "You can suck my Nittany Lion dick!" Unfortunately, Thomas expresses a sentiment most students will always feel toward USG. Unfortunately, the campaigns didn't listen to that sentiment tonight.