Come as you are
State College rears a kinkier side to getting in a romantic mood

By JASON CHERKIS
Collegian Arts Writer

In Annie Hall, Woody Allen opted for a dimly lit red light while his partner, Diane Keaton insisted on smoking a little pot to help her relax. While Allen was turned off by Keaton's hemp hang-up, and Keaton never seemed interested in Allen's red light, they proved that setting the mood may be stickier than sex itself.

And on Valentine's Day, foreplay is the major play. It's all about the lusty moments before the smooch. It offers up a sexual milkshake of cards, roses, big heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, lingerie and if you're lucky a decent dinner at some expensive restaurant.

Granted, this stuff is expected to produce gushy vibes. For some stores, Hallmark is the equivalent of faking it. But for the uninhibited, State College does provide a kinky side. Stores such as Uncle Eli's, 129 E. Beaver Ave., prove Valentine's Day doesn't have to be blush-proof.

Eli's is offering anatomically-correct, plastic wind-up menage a trois dolls, "Pussy Pops," lollipop condoms, glow-in-the-dark underwear ("so they can see you coming"), fuzzy handcuffs, Wild Fire massage gel, Mister Penis Ice Mold ("Enhance any drink with Mister Penis Ice,") and a soap-on-a-rope in the shape of an erect penis -- for those hard to reach places.

Kim Azcona (junior-theatre arts), an Uncle Eli's employee, admitted she's not sure how effective the merchandise is in setting the mood.

"I don't know, we just got the stuff," Azcona said. "Since I've worked here this is the first time we've had this."

The beginner's bondage set and chocolate penis on a stick were not really what Gabriel Montemurro (sophomore-division of undergraduate studies) had in mind when it comes to romance.

He has a simple plan. "First of all, you got to get that person alone," Montemurro said with an air of experience. "It's got to be one-to-one to get that connection -- so you can focus all your attention on that person."

But Montemurro adds that too much planning can lead to a frustrating evening.

"I tend to anticipate too much," Montemurro confessed. "And you're too stressed to make it work."

The AIDS Project hopes to take a little of the anxiety out of romance. With its program, "Eroticizing Latex," the AIDS Project is encouraging safe-but-adventurous sex, said Jeremy Good, the Project's assistant co-volunteer coordinator.

"(It's) about making sure that you're using a condom or dental dam and being in that habit of doing so," Good said. "It should be a habit like getting up in the morning and brushing your teeth."

Good added that condoms and dental dams can heat up the moment -- if you're creative. He cited putting condoms on with your partner's mouth or hand, trying flavored condoms or using honey.

In this age of AIDS, sex and fun do not usually go hand in hand. But Debbie Mastromatteo, owner of Candy Cane, 128 W. College Ave., has the answer for those that want to have their cake and eat it too.

Mastromatteo is offering chocolate breasts, solid or cream filled, complete with erect nipples, and chocolate penises including one that hooks to the left.

"I think people do this more for a joke than anything," Mastromatteo said, downplaying the eroticism of her desserts. "It's all done for a joke or a laugh."

Mastromatteo did admit that the response to the "Naughty Nibbles" has been huge.

"I could see if this is written up, a line up out the door," Mastromatteo said, adding that chocolate is a proven aphrodisiac. "I think it has something to do with the hormone levels."

Of course, for the Valentine's Day tie-ins and tie-ups, some are immune to the mood.

"I'm just going to totally hermit on Valentine's Day," insisted Danielle McHenry (freshman-division of undergraduate studies).