You've seen these guys. They're everywhere.

You'll be sitting in class and somebody mentions something, anything, and it immediately turns into a discussion about sports.

For example, somebody brings up the subject of ballet, and the following conversation breaks out:

Guy wearing a Starter jacket: Ballet is dumb.

Other guy, wearing a Logo Athletic hat: Marcia Clark used to be a ballet dancer.

Jacket: O.J.'s gonna fry.

Hat: Did you see Marshall Faulk break O.J.'s Pro Bowl rushing record?

Jacket: Yeah. The Colts suck.

There are some women who dare enter this world, but it is predominantly male.

The members are part of a testosterone-laden society in which Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann are deities. The sports world is their livelihood, and the issues of Sports Illustrated they have saved are outnumbered only by their baseball cards.

And by the way, they make sure to inform the SI subscription department that they want their issues mailed without any of the perfumed fragrance inserts. (Seriously. Look at the letters-to-the-editor section in the Super Bowl recap issue.)

Is there something wrong with this culture? Perhaps. Especially when you consider most of them can name more SportsCenter anchors than Supreme Court justices.

(Excerpt from an actual conversation:

"I could probably name four or five of them."

"How many are there -- 12, right?")

There are other aspects of this bizarre culture:

-- When a handful of these guys sit around, the conversation somehow turns into trivia time -- and who can come up with the best question. These sessions last for hours, and nothing gets accomplished until somebody can name who holds the NCAA record for interceptions in a season. (Answer: Superman himself, Dean Cain of "Lois and Clark" fame.)

-- The Sega game collection consists entirely of sports games. And just because Sonic the Hedgehog comes with the system doesn't mean they have it -- it's likely been sold or traded for some kind of golf game.

-- They argue over who's more annoying: ESPN's legal analyst Don Wager or sideline reporter Andrea Kremer.

-- Nothing is sacred. They make up their own Chris Berman nicknames for players. Names like Dallas Cowboy kicker Chris "I am the great Corn-" Boniol, (get it Beavis) and golfer Vijay "I'd like to teach the world to" Singh.

And when that's done, they argue over which of Berman's nicknames are the best. (Personal favorites: L.A. Raider wide receiver Alexander "If loving you is wrong, I don't wanna be" Wright, and Seattle punter Rick "Rootin' " Tuten.)

-- When a debate of a favorite team occurs, they argue that their team, fresh off its worst ever season, has a legitimate shot at making the playoffs. And, if things go right, maybe they can win it all.

-- They try to argue that, ideologically, the SI swimsuit issue and People Magazine's sexiest man alive issue are basically the same thing. But nobody writes to People saying, Cancel my subscription. Signed, a little ol' librarian in Shamokin.

A side note: real sports purists find the swimsuit issue annoying -- where's the coverage of Marshall Faulk's Pro Bowl?

The Colts suck.