Men. Sometimes I wonder why we rule the world. The male population dominates Congress, the Supreme Court, and a woman has never been President of the United States. It just doesn't make sense.

Women do a lot of things better than men. Women are better administrators. They dress better, and they smell better too. You'll never hear of a woman walking into McDonald's and killing 230 people because she got fired. If women played in professional sports, we'd never have strikes or bench-clearing brawls. So why in tarnations do men rule the world?

Well, it's quite simple. We pee better.

No matter how you look at it, this fact cannot be refuted. When it comes to the act of urination, men have the market cornered. Men tinkle in a more controlled, finely tuned manner. Granted, we always leave the seat up, but men can't concentrate on more than one thing at a time. Cut us some slack.

But why would this matter? How do you go from peeing better to ruling the world? The transformation from equality of the sexes to today's sexist planet was a long one that took scores of generations to complete. But it did take place, and it was probably something a bit like this . . .

Early on in the world, your worth to society was based on how well you could hunt the mighty animals of the forest. (Or rolling European plains, the rainforests of Africa or the Andes Mountain range if you'd prefer.)

Men don't innately hunt better than women. Women are generally better shots, but back in the beginning, firearms were pretty rare. You had to shoot an arrow, sling a stone, or just beat the living tar out of the animal you wanted to eat. OK, you could argue agriculture, but this is my column, so I'm going to ignore that.

So men and women went out into the unknown to bring back dinner. But one hunt changed the world forever.

You see, there had been one big party the night before the hunt, and much wine was drunk by the tribe (or ethnic group if you'd prefer). And you know how that goes. If you drink a lot of wine, sooner or later you'll have to recycle it back to Mother Nature. This hunt was no different.

A group of women had to umm, water the daisies. Much to their surprise, a grizzly bear walked around the corner and found the women absolutely defenseless. At this point the hunters became the huntees, and the picture was a bloody one at that.

At the same time, another group of hunters, all men, also had to relieve themselves. Another grizzly zoomed around the corner, but each man was standing and had one hand free to fight the beast. It was a good fight, but the hunters won out and killed the mighty bear.

And from that day on, men were the hunters. Yes, it was as simple as that. Slowly from that point on, men kept cornering power due to their superior talents in the bathroom.

But why do men dominate politics? What does hunting have to do with politics? Not much, unless you're talking to the National Rifle Association. Men and women once shared society's power equally. But again, one night made the difference.

It was the evening of the big election in the village. Again, the wine had flowed freely throughout the affair, and most people were pretty tanked. All of a sudden, it was announced that the vote would take place in five minutes! There was a mad rush to the bathrooms because everyone had to wee, and the vote always took a long time.

The men quickly got their pee-task done. Each toilet had four guys crossing streams, and there were two men per sink. Everyone had re-zipped in about four minutes and all the men were able to vote. But things weren't so good in the ladies room.

Each toilet had just one woman. One lady tried to use the sink, but it just didn't work. As it turned out, most women missed the vote, and a man won the election. Ever since then, men have dominated politics.

But we have other advantages as well due to our "abilities." It also comes in handy if you're in the back of a truck, or on a long road trip. The difference in peeing is also the reason why men don't keep their bathrooms clean. We know we won't be sitting down on the seat most of the time.

So there you have it. Men, even though we may be less intelligent, more stubborn and less cooperative than women, have made the most of our lone talent. By honing and developing our phallic skills, we have become overachievers. We have become the rulers of the planet.

But I wonder how you explain Hillary Clinton? Hmm. Maybe she pees better than Bill.