I am extremely offended by your paper's brief, offhand review of The Learning Channel's coverage of actual surgery that appeared in the Playground column on the Weekend Recess page of the July 15 Collegian ("The Ugly").

Your unnamed reviewer writes that surgery on TV is a "bloody mess" and that "Nobody wants to see ribs being spread apart or a hand under the skin of someone's face while they're eating" Says who?

I often have watched The Learning Channel's coverage of surgery while eating steaming bowls of spaghetti without the slightest rise of the gorge. It's really interesting. I mean, doesn't it make your reviewer wonder what that subcutaneous fat under the face skin really feels like?

At first, I thought, well, it's like tapioca. But, then, I got out some of my daughter's "gak" -- you know, the jellylike slimy stuff that kids play with, and twisted my hands through it. It just didn't match the slipperiness that I saw on TV.

So, I moved on to lemon jello. To be sure, I wasn't getting a great feel out of it because I was wearing dishwashing gloves, not thin surgical gloves like I saw on TV. However, the jello squiggled a lot like the subcutaneous fat on the TV, just colder probably and not as bloody. How's that for home science!

And, as far as seeing "ribs spread apart," where, I ask, is your reviewer's sense of awe? Don't you ever wonder how they pack all that stuff in there? A liver, a stomach, a couple of kidneys . . . enough alimentary tract to tie up the entire Board of Trustees.

Most of the meat is the same color, and I was very surprised to see that none of it has those neat little numbers so you can look up the names in Gray's Anatomy.

Then those surgery guys and gals do the deed they're paid for, put the stuff all back on so it fits, sew up the slice like a Thanksgiving turkey, and chit-chat with the family. They bill the whole thing to some accountant working for a big insurer so that nobody close to the act feels gouged. Your reviewer, who probably wrote this vicious little screed while soaking sun in a twine thong at the Natatorium outdoor pool, can never hope to understand this public service.

Your reviewer might believe that The Learning Channel's coverage of surgery is gross, but I believe that it upholds the highest standards for educational television: it informs, it entertains, and it's a great condiment.