Knock, knock . . .

Hello?

Jerry Jones, anybody home?

Apparently not. Mr. Jones has once again interfered with the workings of his team. Last time, he cost the Cowboys two wins at the beginning of last season. All he has done this time is get rid of the guy who turned a 1-15 team into Super Bowl Champions in four years.

Bright move.

Now let's get a couple of things straight: I hate the Cowboys. And I hate Jimmy Johnson. And under normal circumstances, I would never take the time to actually sit down and write about the Cowboys, but Mr. Jones has pushed the envelope farther than Eagles' owner Norman Braman ever has. Jones has crossed the line from stupidity to outright sabotage.

If you really think Johnson's resignation was "mutually decided," as Johnson said, think again. This was personal: A clash of attitudes. Jones let personal feelings get in the way of business, and look what happened.

I have a message for Jones (and sometimes you just have to be blunt): Get your head out of your ass and start realizing that you don't know what's best for the Cowboys.

Granted, Jones signs the paychecks. He should have some say in the way the team is run. But Johnson is the man who drafted the quality players. He's the one who cleaned out the old junk and replaced it. As far as off-the-field personnel go, Johnson was the man most responsible for taking the Cowboys to two consecutive Super Bowl titles.

And what was it Jones said at Tuesday's press conference? Something about not hiring a replacement immediately? Yeah, good thing he waited a full day to hire former Oklahoma coach Barry Switzer. Can you say 'setup'? But then again, we Penn State faithful expect nothing less from classy guys like Switzer.

What a great record Switzer racked up in Oklahoma: 157-29-4, 12 Big Eight titles, three national championships, a drug-dealing quarterback, a steroid-using linebacker and players who shoot their teammates. Don't be too surprised if you find Tonya Harding snooping around the locker room at some point in the season.

And Troy Aikman played for Switzer in college. Why'd he transfer to UCLA? Because Switzer promised that the Sooners would switch to a pass-oriented offense. Guess what? It never happened.

Johnson said he doesn't expect to coach anywhere this season. Don't bet on it. There are quite a few owners out there who are probably drooling now that Johnson is out on the market.

"Don."

"Yeah, boss."

"You're fired."

"Fired? I'm the winningest coach in NFL history!"

"Life sucks, doesn't it? Give Jimmy the headset."

Things will all work out. Life has a way of doing that. Johnson will get the job in Carolina, Tampa Bay, Los Angeles or Philadelphia (I can't believe I even thought that). Switzer will act as a puppet for another owner with an "I-know-what's-best-for-the-team" attitude. And we, the fans, will get to watch a Cowboys team with lots of talent but no leadership flounder in the NFC East.

Somewhere out there, Tom Landry is laughing.