I believe in hard work and in being honest and fair." --Minnesota Men's Basketball Coach Clem Haskins

They all do. All these college basketball coaches with their heads caught in a cloud of zone presses and back screens and boxing out. All they really care about is dignity and respect from their athletes. All they want to do is teach their players about life.

At least, that's what they tell us.

There are the exceptions. The man in the red sweater with the clever limericks and the hard head, for example. He barks like a dog, but he doesn't tell us anything -- except to pucker up to certain parts of his somewhat rotund anatomy.

Unfortunately, it seems Bob Knight's disease is catching. It has spread through the Big Ten conference, to one of the game's most underrated coaches.

Now, it is Clem Haskins who is spouting mindless rhetoric, baiting the media and berating officials with the tact and charm of Tonya Harding.

"I think Bobby Knight has the best philosophy with the media --treat them like dogs, because most of them deserve it," Haskins said after the Gophers were bounced from the NCAA Tournament by Louisville.

Where did this come from? Haskins, it seems, was furious with media criticism of his team's inconsistency.

Imagine that. A team that loses to Penn State and Iowa, and defeats Indiana by 50 points. A team that is picked by many to win the Big Ten, and ends up finishing tied for fourth at 10-8? Inconsistency is typically defined that way.

The loss to Louisville, a talented team with a chance to win a national title, is understandable. The season was a good one -- 20 wins and the second round of the NCAAs. It was not great.

Clem Haskins did nothing to dash his team's sky-high preseason expectations. Not until now, as the postseason report cards roll in with mediocre grades for Minnesota's mentor.

The excuses are simply abysmal.

Haskins cited Jayson Walton's season-long knee problems as the key to this whirlwind of a season. Minnesota is led by guards Voshon Lenard and Arriel McDonald, and forward Randy Carter. Walton, at best, is a role player.

Perhaps if Matt Gaudio had a healthy back, Penn State would still be playing basketball. But injuries simply happen.

Yet there is more to it than that, Haskins says. Big Ten officials, it seems, have no respect for Gopher center Chad Kolander. The coach says he will risk suspension next season in order to prove his point.

Perhaps the coach can enlighten us on the Kennedy assassination. He seems to have a good grasp of conspiracy theories.

Never mind the fact that Penn State Coach Bruce Parkhill has bitten various parts of his tongue off in an effort to be diplomatic toward poor officiating. At Penn State, that is part of being the new kid on the block.

At Minnesota, it is a reason for idiocy.

Sure, Clem Haskins is outspoken. When the Black Coaches' Association threatened to boycott games earlier this season, Haskins' voice was one of the loudest.

This may be just a puff of smoke after a frustrating defeat in the NCAAs.

But there are young men who pattern their lives around this coach. They see Clem Haskins shutting himself off from the media, and perhaps they will do the same. They see Clem Haskins berating the officials, and they begin to lose respect for themselves.

"If you do your homework, then good things will happen," Haskins said.

Perhaps, instead of berating the media and formulating ridiculous excuses while evaluating his team's season, Haskins could have been honest and forthright.

Or maybe the dog ate his homework.