A Daily Collegian columnist once said, "The dead man had made no vacation plans." They also can't keep pop vultures from ripping off their tunes.

The airwaves were once the playgrounds of legendary soul singers such as Marvin Gaye, Otis Redding and Jackie Wilson. You can still hear their great voices if you listen to WZWW-FM (95.3) or, unfortunately, if you happen to catch one of their songs remade by such pop pimps as Michael Bolton or Robert Palmer.

A few months ago, we got some soul, but no asylum. What were Dave Pirner and the boys thinking when they recorded their version of "Sexual Healing?" Hey Dave, sing it to Winona, but give us a break!

And hey, Michael Bolton is still around, "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay." Someone get a saw and shorten that pier before he blesses us with a version of Aretha Franklin's "Respect."

Maybe this is all too critical. Maybe we could develop a medium for this by creating radio stations with the specific purpose of playing only cover songs, like, say, WCOPY -- copy contemporary.

Imagine the men of Def Leppard doing "Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing," or Bolton venturing into the remake world once again to do a version of the Jacksons/Jagger duet "State of Shock." Imagine shaking your booty to that.

Quick, let's all band together to stop this menace to society before Guns 'N' Roses covers some doo-wop song. Oops, too late.